I find it most helpful to always first honor my child's experience. As you point out, kids are innately truthful and expressive. They are also innately curious and want to know how the world works and how they fit into it.

It's natural for children to want to fit in. It's part a survival aspect of our psyche, so to ignore that, is to also not honor a child.

That said, what I have found most helpful is to first and foremost encourage and support my child to be himself. Additionally, sharing the context and potential implications of his choices can be very helpful.

Part of being an impassioned parent requires protecting my son. Another aspect requires understanding that protecting my son includes giving him effective structures, opportunities, and support, for learning from his own experiences.

By sharing the potential implications of a decision with my son, he's then empowered to choose his course of action. He'll also discover first-hand what is true for him through trial and error.

Lastly, by having a dialogue with him (instead of just telling him how things are), we create a relationship based on mutual exploration, trust, compassion, understanding, and many other wonderfully relational qualities.

Chris Cade in response to Miranda Paradise 5 months ago