Cowboys On Drunk Unicorns
Jason Sweeney
limited edition, macaroni and glitter on construction paper.1,145,833 followers | Follow
Tim Siedell
Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.588,569 followers | Follow
Fake AP Stylebook
Style tips for proper writing. contact: fakeapstylebook at gmail dot com. No submissions, please. All material copyright The Bureau Chiefs, LLC.286,286 followers | Follow
Arjun Basu
Author, writer, editor, Shorty Award winner (though I'm not that short), foodie, husband, dad. Creating Twisters, 140-character short stories.148,092 followers | Follow
Jelisa Castrodale
Writer for NBCSports.com and the just-launched msnNOW. I've learned a lot about life by making a mess of my own.64,547 followers | Follow
Lucky Shirt
Creator, writer, director, and producer of descriptions of myself.37,159 followers | Follow
Adam Lisagor
Proprietor of sandwichvideo.com, youlooknicetoday.com, and adamlisagor.com. So many websites!34,506 followers | Follow
Mike Monteiro
This is a personal account and does not reflect the opinions of my boss, who is an asshole.30,495 followers | Follow
David R Jennings
David is owner of Bauart Creative Services, a provider of print, broadcast, web design, e-media and photography. Sometimes he's funny.15,813 followers | Follow
Adam Isacson
I work at the Washington Office on Latin America (my views here, not theirs). Work-related stuff at @adam_wola.9,941 followers | Follow
Josh Hopkins
father. husband. programmer. web designer. artist. geek. thinker. doer. founder of 40horse.com.9,429 followers | Follow
Robert the Brave
Your Mom's boyfriend. Eventually I'll offend you. http://favstar.fm/users/NowAPisces http://beeftongue.tumblr.com/post/235380403/us9,084 followers | Follow
Jonathan Sloan
The size of my fist is directly proportional to the object it's holding.7,853 followers | Follow
Ben Brooks
Comic, musician, writer, father & student. I write jokes and non-jokes. If that scares you, don't follow. http://www.witstream.com.7,696 followers | Follow
Doctor Zaius
Just another misanthropic orangutan from the future forced to twitter by court order to learn how 'intelligent' and 'evolved' humans are7,372 followers | Follow
Courtney Reimer
Editor-in-chief at TLC/Discovery. Views, gaffes, toilet humor my own.4,600 followers | Follow
Jeff Kelley
I eat a ton of chicken, like inhumane amounts. I think aircraft carriers are neat and I appreciate a good shirt tuck-in. Writer and communications person.4,509 followers | Follow
Jason Permenter
Designer at @muledesign. Host of America's favorite podcast: Hour of Pour. Married to @rascouet, who is hot.4,362 followers | Follow
Katie Rose
People who engage in clever wordplay are a pungus on our society. I am a 22-year-old Frosted Mini-Wheats enthusiast.4,019 followers | Follow
poop finger
attn: midgets, religious folk, fatties, other weird fuckers & cops: i say mean things. there's yer disclaimer. fuckititude aplenty.3,190 followers | Follow
Pantse Macabre
I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs, blown up for Racquel Welch.3,140 followers | Follow
Mikey ADHD
I AM MIKEY AND I AM 7 AND I CAN DRAW A HORSE BUT NOT WITH LEGS BECAUSE HE IS ON A SKATEBOARD.2,783 followers | Follow
ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs
These are the voyages of the Starship Euphemize. Its five year mission: To explore strange new words, to seek out new jokes and new implications.2,672 followers | Follow
David Leibowitz
Trying to decide on a bio. Right now, I'm partial to Abraham Lincoln's.2,657 followers | Follow
Kristi Gail Hatsell
I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action. - Mae West2,656 followers | Follow
ThatBitchKae
My naked body has proven to be an excellent opposite sex repellent.2,590 followers | Follow
Trixie Longboots
Palaeographer, numismatist, martyrologist, mudlark, grifter, bluestocking, prefecture of the pontifical household, sob sister, egg broker, dream dealer, dandy.2,471 followers | Follow
Formerly MaxHoopla
Was voted funniest comedian in a scientific poll among the raccoons living in my attic.2,231 followers | Follow
Drew (Not a Guy) H
...and then before I knew it I had awesome all over me. I'm never going to get this out.1,994 followers | Follow
Steven Bonisteel
Internet idiot savant (but without the 'savant' part). LEGAL DISCLAIMER: My avatar shows *none* of my gray hairs.1,956 followers | Follow
Tim Patrick
Humor author and software developer (same thing) living in Southern California.1,901 followers | Follow
mikemorrow
Don't take any of this seriously. Opinions expressed do not necessarily represent those of management. Tell it to the judge. Be careful out there.1,896 followers | Follow
Andy Fanton
Cartoonist/writer for @DandyComic, occasional radio sketch writer and human male.1,839 followers | Follow
sarahrosehurt
If I can't be a good example, at least let me be a horrible warning.1,823 followers | Follow
Annoyatron
Annoyatron \a-noi-a-tron\ n: 1. The slayer of pineapples and the stacker of tacos. 2. A viking that fails to pass the Turing test.1,525 followers | Follow
Angry Old Coot
Just a shotgun and a rocking chair between me and the hoosgow.1,001 followers | Follow
santaispissed
Real name Kris Kringle. Heavy drinker. Not a freaking elf. Not jolly.895 followers | Follow
Drunken Lullaby
My biological clock is a hypochondriac. But that's ok...my kids are cuter than yours.307 followers | Follow
Flash Grundelore
almost like big green grass, intelligent as all with roses in the dew of the canyons rise to the left. And here and “background”277 followers | Follow
Burn Pelton
Doctor Krashenbern. Judge if you want. We are all going to die. I intend to deserve it.199 followers | Follow
