Vincents Stars Of Comedy Twitter List by Vincent Vasectomy on Listorious

Funny One Liners

One liners..ReTweets..The best of the old and the new humor compiled in one place.

464,372 followers | Follow

Barry Elliott

Boring profile? Doesn't get much better inside :)If you are new to Twitter I am proof that a fool can make it in this social community thingy majig.

160,189 followers | Follow

Joseph Kennedy

Enjoying a balanced life,skiing,working online,my time is mine. Snowboarding, bonsai

99,317 followers | Follow

Jamie Capria

The average person laughs 15 times a day... that's not nearly enough. http://favstar.fm/users/MrFornicator http://twirtydozen.com/

35,335 followers | Follow

rodney

I'm awesome and sometimes I lie.

26,848 followers | Follow

Shari Vanderwerf

Stand-up comedian/writer. My husband complains that I over share on Twitter. Clearly, his hemorrhoids are just making him cranky.

19,698 followers | Follow

Tricia

Jazz hands for life while still keeping it gangsta. http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/EI06GB6VAIQH/ref=cm_sw_em_r_ws_UtXMpb1BGP1T7_wb

19,486 followers | Follow

Pax Paxochka

Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate

16,647 followers | Follow

Hormonella, damn it!

My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill.

15,921 followers | Follow

Shane

Twitter should be an escape, not a destination.

12,963 followers | Follow

Eric Eric Martin

2008 Beer Olympics 5th place finisher. Studious Bison featured contributor. Screenwriting student. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3412073/?licb=0.9492049433278853

12,875 followers | Follow

Monica

If you can't play the blues you may as well hang it up...

11,259 followers | Follow

Brandon Guttermouth

slayer enthusiast. fang baring feral unicorn. dong merchant. auto didactic sycophant. reverse kegel instructor. purveyor of dreamsicles.

11,168 followers | Follow

Beerhaze

I enjoy moccasins, beer, beaches in November, people with interesting skin disorders, beer and beer.

11,167 followers | Follow

Morty

Diversity is key,Sarcastic,Anipal lover,Backwordologgist,Greenie,Humor,Realist

11,056 followers | Follow

Brian

I like your carpet. Is that shag? http://bdgarp.tumblr.com/

10,661 followers | Follow

Brian Soto

Writer, semi-retired amateur lawn dart player. Will sleep for food.

10,530 followers | Follow

designersays

When coworkers piss me off, I start sending them very serious work-related emails with a blank subject line. Don't fuck with me.

10,147 followers | Follow

Big Gay Ferris Wheel

Everybody hates you. - dad http://www.youtube.com/sausagelickingclown

9,908 followers | Follow

ThisBitchRightHere

Ladies, dont go after ugly rich men. Make your own money so you can fuck hot, poor guys.

9,798 followers | Follow

Space Slug

I'm beginning to question my view of myself as a people person.

9,586 followers | Follow

Mongrel Heart

Rock 'n' Roll Queen. CEO of my vagina. Instigator. John Candy's love child. One half of Fingerbang Radio with Adie and Shaan.

9,565 followers | Follow

Robert the Brave

Your Mom's boyfriend. Eventually I'll offend you. http://favstar.fm/users/NowAPisces http://beeftongue.tumblr.com/post/235380403/us

9,084 followers | Follow

tackie_jackie

Took a weird-ass turn and ended up here.

8,932 followers | Follow

JD Crowe

A cartoonist should be obscene and not heard. http://www.facebook.com/CroweToons You can also follow me at @crowetoons

8,451 followers | Follow

Mike Schism

People think i'm self centered, they are so wrong i am more like off centered. (don't follow if you're easily offended)

8,339 followers | Follow

Sean Gabay

Not Patrick Duffy.

8,097 followers | Follow

Jason

It takes police too long to respond to 911 calls. If I get robbed I'm ordering Chinese food and asking them to bring a gun.

7,971 followers | Follow

shauna

WitStream.com member and writer for hire. Loved by my husband, animals, expletives, and gay men the world over. If you had a favorite brazen hussy, I'd be it.

7,891 followers | Follow

Candy Crisis

I do a really good impersonation of a Fugu fish crashing against a window at high speed.

7,462 followers | Follow

Theodora Chester

Lapsed writer, collecting distractions

7,162 followers | Follow

ʞɔnɟǝɥɔnop

I am God's typo. Don't fucking follow me. I bite.

7,108 followers | Follow

Will O'Fend

Ex ninja master, porn star, writer, lover, actor, I tickle crocodiles for fun, big time liar.

6,911 followers | Follow

Shira

Improviser. Upright Citizens Brigade. Pittsburgh sports fan. Often opprobrious. More bounce to the ounce. Contributor to WitStream and @TheFakeCNN.

6,780 followers | Follow

VocabuLarry

If this had been an actual emergency, we would still play that irritating noise.

6,772 followers | Follow

Megan Shpettit

I'm Laura Dern's cryface. http://favstar.fm/users/MeganShpettit

6,150 followers | Follow

suzanne

Sweet & salty with a bit of bitter & a swish of sour. A captivating tangle of contradictions, longings, complexities, & gifts--just like you.

6,102 followers | Follow

Pauly Miller

When I grow up I want to be a carny.

6,084 followers | Follow

Major Unzipped Fly

Don't worry, I'm not THAT fly, unless I need to be. Boozacon, booze and bacon is the breakfast/lunch/dinner of champs. #teambaconandtequila

5,999 followers | Follow

Tricia's Vagina

Word to my Vag

5,789 followers | Follow

juicymorsel

No biting. This rule is for your protection.

5,544 followers | Follow

Mariana Rivera

When I grow up I want to do a firefighter.

5,520 followers | Follow

iamjenn2

I say things on the internet.

5,335 followers | Follow

Joel Ingersoll

I get up and I put on pants.

5,314 followers | Follow

Norm

I'm fake BS principle on everything in life. I live in my head. I like card tricks. For entertainment purposes only.

5,256 followers | Follow

Liz T. Goddess

Corporate Middle Manager by day. Domestic Goddess by night. I tweet a lot!

5,096 followers | Follow

Kervin Ferreira

Graphic designer. Lover of all that is cool. Expert of awesome.

4,964 followers | Follow

David Kaa

When you dont have a job pants are like days of the week - pointless.

4,931 followers | Follow

Veronica

I'm a legend to last a lunchtime.

4,739 followers | Follow

D. McBaggus

I enjoy holding hands and long wanks on the beach...

4,528 followers | Follow

David Klein

Been known to write a little. Likes tacos. My best friend is my pet dinosaur.

4,460 followers | Follow

Rock God

Rock God, Chess Piece, and Butt Plug. I am the Holy Trinity of Twitter.

4,145 followers | Follow

ben parrish

Ninja, Wizard and Writer

4,018 followers | Follow

This Charming Man

After all these years, my wife still calls me charming. She just says it with more sarcasm and disdain now.

3,849 followers | Follow

Wendina

TMI ALERT! DISROBE AND ENTER DECONTAMINATION BAY! http://barenakedbones.wordpress.com http://weakgreentea.wordpress.com http://barenakedbones.blogspot.com

3,765 followers | Follow

MisterPrankster

From a bird's eye view we're all just target practice.

3,505 followers | Follow

snicky

♋

3,447 followers | Follow

Adam Fogle

Sometimes, when the weather is nice, I ghost ride my wheelchair. I've been told I have the facial features of a sad pig.

3,375 followers | Follow

SleepCyn

Twitter is where I keep all my secrets. And by secrets, I mean lies. And subtle condescension. And self-deception. And cunt jokes. I also love bathrobes.

3,341 followers | Follow

Princess.Cum.Bubbles

Luvs reading, walks in the park, crocheting, and I'm an astronaut.

3,299 followers | Follow

Your mother

Don't bother me, I'm high. ~.~ #TeamTaints

3,261 followers | Follow

FredasaurusRex

fucking your life up 140 characters at a time.

3,028 followers | Follow

Flaptain Oinkstar

Typoet Laureate

3,020 followers | Follow

Kelly T

Seriously, don't. And don't touch my stuff either.

2,788 followers | Follow

designertalks

I can say whatever I want here and not have to worry about over-tweeting. @designersays is my primary account.

2,786 followers | Follow

Havana Hilary

Hazard

2,768 followers | Follow

Funnyshit

Funny, wacky shit. I try to be orig. but sometimes I recycle old jokes - Anon.

2,729 followers | Follow

Vincent Vasectomy

Shouting out inappropriate shit enriching lives. Enjoys riots and snorting ants. I suffer from acephalia My tumblr @ http://mentalvasectomy.com

2,708 followers | Follow

AngelLJ

I'm a sarcastic bitch. I have a filthy mind. And I have great boobs. What's not to love? Oh and I cook.

2,706 followers | Follow

Chipster

My sleep number is vodka.

2,702 followers | Follow

Victoria

Still riding the short bus. Laissez les bon temps rouler!

2,664 followers | Follow

Brandi

Wife. Mother. Astrological sign: Feces. Likes: Long walks on the beach and Tijuana donkey shows.

2,638 followers | Follow

Steve Tweeters

Neurotic. Also, father of 5. Also, have ADD. While we're being honest, kind of an alcoholic also.

2,472 followers | Follow

Rowdy Peppercorn

Over twenty five years of experience being a seventeen year old.

2,422 followers | Follow

Heavy Whisper

Wireless Engineer & Foodie passionate about cooking. Loves photography, aviation, travel and meeting eclectic people. Keeps an open heart & mind. Married 16 yrs

2,368 followers | Follow

Sir Kelleth

record store jerk.

2,270 followers | Follow

Madelene

Editor in chief, investigative reporter. I mix fun and news. Star of parallel parking.

2,156 followers | Follow

Grover Iscariot

Not The Real Grover. Pussy Whisperer. Weed Snob. Chronic Masticator. Fucking Adorable. Ballastics Kicker. Bad Muppetfucker. http://itsmyurls.com/supagrover

2,148 followers | Follow

Max Powers

Professional mime hunter. Illiteratish. Cake enthusiast. All-around drain on modern society. (If following you back is important, give me a reason.)

2,145 followers | Follow

COCKFART

ass hole/role model

2,139 followers | Follow

Benn Fucking Tastic

Fuck like you need money. Stalk like they're already falling in love with you. You're welcome.

2,079 followers | Follow

ADDjusted

Mainly I just sit around and be fantastic.

2,022 followers | Follow

Jax

I can't believe I get 160 fuckin characters for this section. http://favstar.fm/users/JaxStarNYC

1,896 followers | Follow

FilthyMayhem

My gift to you is my awesomeness.

1,882 followers | Follow

VirgoSherry

It's just me

1,873 followers | Follow

Wendy

I love my dog, my horse & my sleeping pills.

1,822 followers | Follow

Zen Bubba

I don't have time to watch our friendship bloom, can we just fast forward to the place where I can borrow your car?

1,773 followers | Follow

Mrs Ray Winstone

I *could* be the Mynx you're looking for. But I doubt it.

1,759 followers | Follow

Dirty Dishtowels

Vintage looking floursack dishtowels and sexy aprons with a naughty twist. Great gift idea! Also, a smartass! :o www.etsy.com/shop/dirtydishtowels

1,749 followers | Follow

Jim

Writer, thinker, pretty much enjoys airports strip searches, can't wait for his next prostate exam, honest bullshitter, writes books and feeds them to goats

1,748 followers | Follow

rachel

I can touch my nose with my tongue.

1,722 followers | Follow

Angry Fred

Working class antihero sharing an office with a troglodyte, living with a couple of personality disorders, poor anger management, & a bit of a drinking problem.

1,707 followers | Follow

Susan

A southern chick living in a midwestern town tweeting random thoughts that may or may not interest you.

1,688 followers | Follow

little black heart

I don't even have the energy to not give a fuck today...

1,681 followers | Follow

madshrinkage

im an idiot by design, or heredity. i make a living selling potato chips

1,676 followers | Follow

Deborah Doodles ღஐღ

~ Occupy Twitter ~ ✿ I like this quote. I'll always cherish the original misconception I had of you. ~Unknown ✿*•.ஜღ.

1,578 followers | Follow

Stephie B.

I got you a mug with your name on it. Your says DOUG.

1,502 followers | Follow

Johnny Hardass

Professional bunyip detailer and feral chainsaw trapper. Substitute fool pitier and ace tricycle mechanic. Epic tool.

1,476 followers | Follow

the_bat

-Verified Checkmark — Poet with pistols. Asserbic wit & a quick draw. Lazy-faire capitalist. Semi-retired theorectal fizzycyst, arkeeologist, and fotograffer.

1,418 followers | Follow

D. Parker

Just sittin' in the bushes, reading your tweets. Hoping to be allowed back in the house one day.

1,416 followers | Follow

DirtyBlaxican

THAT'S RACIST!

1,400 followers | Follow

Jill

Im still a wannabe funny person, except now I just have a lot more rage. Cake anyone?

1,354 followers | Follow

Hosey

Have a seat. This might take a while.

1,351 followers | Follow

Kelly

I really hate the word 'moist'.

1,309 followers | Follow

Cosmo

waiting for something to happen.

1,289 followers | Follow

Peanut

I closely identify with Ed from Cowboy Bebop, Nel from Bleach, and George from Dead Like Me. Take that as you will.

1,286 followers | Follow

Magnus

May impair your ability to operate machinery. If you believe that my tweets reflects my real life, you're prolly an idiot.

1,278 followers | Follow

Sue

I'm the one you wish you went to school with. #AutismSupport

1,245 followers | Follow

Dawn

Just the girl next door, living the american dream..

1,177 followers | Follow

Viva_La_kimmie

NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER !! TAINTVILLE ,OHIO. AND IM THE MAYOR ! NSFW

1,166 followers | Follow

Dinglebert Slaptybak

Founder of Twitter, pro boxer, MI6 agent, compulsive liar, bank robbing fister of the elderly who enjoys including creatures in foreplay, nice guy

1,107 followers | Follow

tim friedmann

MMA junkie, FNG at all things tagg/mmajunkie related. I will post a lot but only things i find interesting

1,042 followers | Follow

Tricky (tricky)

I work midnights in America. I delete @ replies. I used to be @WittyDick. I don't talk much on weekends. I like the word banana. That about sums things up.

1,010 followers | Follow

B-Dazzle

Wonder twin powers activate! Form of a big, fat middle finger. t(~_~t)

984 followers | Follow

sydney wingender

Étudiant à la maîtrise en Science Politique à l'Université de Montréal

934 followers | Follow

Joy

FUCK YOU!

877 followers | Follow

▲♥¶☥ †¥₤€® ☨△∨❣ Φ✾☯▼

▲gende®zerØ↔℉reeⓖen ₩Ⓐ☨❦rb♡t ✺✾lψfe cΦntact✿❀❁≝ love ☥♫♪♥☾◎p€n☽ ¶✇▼ ❝✪☠❞ℙeℝ♍@ℂulture℃osyStems ☮ it ⓧ cookⁿ fuckⁿ hugⁿ ∑‿✖ ★_✩ ت≖☯☀❂☉°☄♉ ҉ ∞ⁿ http://bit.ly/L-A-W

834 followers | Follow

Jonas Strandell

Please don't ask me to increase the size of your logo. It's not an extension of your penis.

819 followers | Follow

Lady Brandi

806 followers | Follow

peter

I might make you smile :)

755 followers | Follow

Hilary getting nun

Never a truer word said in jest

748 followers | Follow

★Star★

It smells like fart in here.

723 followers | Follow

Nick Boldt

Release Engineer for JBoss by Red Hat. Eclipse/Linux/OSS evangelist. Big fan of dogs, cycling, kayaking, hiking, rockclimbing, and the occasional zombie.

662 followers | Follow