Rick After Dark
1,223 followers
http://rickgershman.brandyourself.com/
I hope I don't forget to replace this placeholder text with something incredibly amusing.
Listorious Interview
I thought #stupidbitchesdontknowshitabout was good. I told Grandma she'd never get it to trend, but damn if she didn't prove me wrong.
Yes. I now have a penis.
Each one comes with a free subscription to Young Republican Nutshots Magazine. And everyone said print media was dead!
1) Assmasters. 2) Assmasters II. 3) Assmasters III. 4) Assmaster IV: The Prequel. 5) Diet Dr. Pepper. 6) Assmasters V: The Empire Strikes Ass
I'd planned to launch a career writing stories that were 145 characters long, but realized that was slightly too much work for me,
"Unicorn." "Porn." "Uniporn." "Unabomber." "YouDaBomber." "YouDaUnicorn."
Continental breakfast. Every morning. Just don't put so much ice in the bowl with the cream cheese packets, because they get hard as a rock.
#IWasDreamingUpThisPerfectTweetWhileMyChildrenWentUnfedAndUnloved
I'd have to go with @SarahPalinUSA. Gaining 50K+ followers when you can't read, write or even show up for work is mighty impressive.
I don't know. I don't speak Chinese.
"Antidisestablishmentarianism." And "ass."
Five, six hours. It's a Tantric thing. Even better, after I Tweet once, I'm ready to go again in like 15 minutes. Kegels help.
People seem to like: "I upset my daughter. She broke the leg on her My Little Pony, so trying to do the right thing, I shot it in the head."
Judy Thomason / restraining order. Kendra Wilson / faulty GPS system. Amber Abernathy / she ran too fast. Wall-E / he's kind of a dick.
I like the one that makes everything warm and relaxing and soothes my savage soul. Oh, wait. That's heroin. Never mind.
Do not ever use Twitter. You will end up a sad, broken man, so desperate for attention and reples you'll say/do anything. Just ask Jay Leno.
I'd like to learn more about acai berries, teeth whitening and Brit.ney givi.ng or.al se.x. I'm disappointed there's so little out there.
I've gotten really close to Megan Fox. When I look up the address she gave me, it's for a creepy old guy in Des Moines. She's so smart!
Yeah, but I was wrecked. Do not mix drugs and alcohol. Tastes awful. What you want to do is take the drugs, then wash them down with alcohol.
I've used it to lose many jobs. My "I brush my teeth religiously. Which means I do it while fucking an altar boy" tweet cost me at least two.
"How on Earth do you fit your pants over that thing?
I keep hoping Ashton Kutcher will find time to check out Twitter. But I'm sure he's busy fine-tuning the script for What Happens in Vegas II.
I would say John Walsh, but given how often I've appeared on his show, I'm pretty sure he's already following me.
A massive disinterest in doing the work I'm supposed to be doing. Also, Al Gore is holding a gun to my head. But don't worry: It's vegan.
