Humor

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Jim Carrey

Actor Jim Carrey!
7,839,775 followers |

Conan O'Brien

The voice of the people. Sorry, people.
5,750,343 followers |

Funny Or Die

We make funny videos with famous people. Will Ferrell is our boss. We like to laugh and watch kittens do adorable people things.
3,964,757 followers |

The Onion

America's Finest News Source. Follow @OnionPolitics for the latest War For The White House election coverage. Also http://facebook.com/theonion
3,812,703 followers |

Stephen Colbert

3,492,218 followers |

Justin

Author of Shit My Dad Says and, coming May 15th, my new book I Suck At Girls. My dad's in it, don't worry. This account is where I publish the shit that he says
3,048,557 followers |

RainnWilson

I am an actor and a writer and I co-created SoulPancake and my son, Walter.
3,035,145 followers |

Sarah Silverman

We're all just molecules, Cutie.
2,956,833 followers |

Dane Cook

When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
2,828,166 followers |

Steve Martin

I am Steve Martin, the actor, writer, comedian, and musician.In banjo touring world until September 1st. Check Stevemartin.com for tour dates.
2,701,509 followers |

John Cleese

Yes, I am still indeed alive, contrary to rumour, and I am touring my one Cleese show
1,951,474 followers |

Aziz Ansari

I'm an actor/comedian. Download my new standup special Dangerously Delicious at azizansari.com for only $5!
1,936,477 followers |

someecards

Welcome to the Twitter feed of somewhat acclaimed humor sites, Someecards, HappyPlace, and Jockular. You’ll love not unfollowing us!
1,841,784 followers |

Michael Ian Black

Magician of the heart.
1,746,475 followers |

Mindy Kaling

writer/performer/shopper
1,744,466 followers |

Bill Simmons

Grantland.com (editor-in-chief, columnist), BS Report podcast (host), thebookofbasketball.com (author). My Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/billsimmons
1,711,787 followers |

Sockamillion

I am Jason Scott's Cat.
1,431,996 followers |

You Look Great

Your daily passive-aggressive affirmation.
1,335,560 followers |

Paul Feig

Paul is a guy who wears suits and tries not to screw things up. He also created Freaks and Geeks. Oh yeah, and just directed Bridesmaids.
1,242,281 followers |

Seth Meyers

1,199,662 followers |

Jason Sweeney

limited edition, macaroni and glitter on construction paper.
1,145,715 followers |

Ethan Suplee

Aspiring model
1,141,111 followers |

BestAt: The Best @'s

Retweeting the funniest tweets since 2008. A 'Best Of Twitter' list from the best @'s. An @JoeLaz production.
1,017,949 followers |

andyroddick

I play tennis. :-)
938,957 followers |

Funny Facts

I'm Naveen R Kukreja. I'm a comedian, actor, writer, photographer, top tweeter, trend setter, and instagrammer. Business: funnyorfact@ymail.com
715,942 followers |

Whitney Cummings

I'm a comedian.
617,250 followers |

Tim Siedell

Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
588,821 followers |

Cracked.com

America's only humor website.
519,568 followers |

CollegeHumor

We once tweeted about Twitter being down while it was down. It ripped a hole in the space-time continuum and we saw our own deaths. facebook.com/collegehumor
512,195 followers |

Jesus Christ

Carpenter, Healer, God
487,982 followers |

Jesus Christ

You know who I am. If not, google me bitches. jmchrist2012@yahoo.com (for the boobs)
477,482 followers |

Funny One Liners

One liners..ReTweets..The best of the old and the new humor compiled in one place.
465,099 followers |

rob delaney

Comedian,Writer, 6'3 217lbs
424,632 followers |

Alec Sulkin

Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs
392,938 followers |

Norm Macdonald

This is my official twitter i like bananas. theyre yellow
358,513 followers |

kelly oxford

Writer. Designed to make you feel like everything is going well. I am your Perestroika.
352,903 followers |

Rob Huebel

I give medicinal cocaine to baby animals
334,695 followers |

Paul Scheer

I'm Andre on @theleaguefx, @NTSFTrent on NTSF:SD:SUV:: & I podcast w/ How Did This Get Made @Earwolf. Also I use furniture but don't trust it.
317,977 followers |

Fake AP Stylebook

Style tips for proper writing. contact: fakeapstylebook at gmail dot com. No submissions, please. All material copyright The Bureau Chiefs, LLC.
286,621 followers |

Bill Clinton

Chillin'....and you know THIS, maaaaaaaan.
260,518 followers |

The Fake ESPN

We write headlines, you retweet them! Not at all affiliated with ESPN, except for the whole sports thing. - Method To Submit Headlines: http://ow.ly/9Xtud -
256,130 followers |

Andy Borowitz

There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life.
245,444 followers |

Alison Agosti

Writer. From that boring, middle-class upbringing that everyone has been talking about.
230,846 followers |

Not Gary Busey

I'm the patron saint of headbutts and parody accounts.
216,358 followers |

Merlin Mann

I'm the best 17-year-old ever.
213,288 followers |

John Gruber

Raconteur.
201,821 followers |

TheBestWorstAdvice

Here to make the rest of your life the best of your life.
200,328 followers |

Kenny Mayne

183,671 followers |

Jay Mohr

Former twink
171,189 followers |

The Sklar Brothers

This is the official twitter page of comedians, Randy and Jason Sklar. We have a new TV show called The United Stats of America on History 10pm Tuesdays.
164,939 followers |

Cobra Commander

How dare you anticipate my strategy!
160,096 followers |

DRUNK HULK

REMEMBER! WHEN YOU LOOK BACK AND SEE ONE FOOTPRINTS! YOU KNOW THAT WHEN DRUNK HULK CARRY YOU! WWW.DRUNKHULK.COM!
158,585 followers |

funny humour

cracking ribs from back in the day with the best jokes on twitter...feel free to please send me jokes...ill retweet.
157,446 followers |

BP Public Relations

This page exists to get BP's message and mission statement out into the twitterverse!
155,244 followers |

David Thorne

Amongst my qualities, which include reciting prime numbers backwards from 90956, reading to blind children & training seals, embellishment may be at the top.
134,446 followers |

Meeting Boy

I hate my job.
129,958 followers |

Dave Attell

Comedian
125,407 followers |

Paul Corrigan

NYC Stand Up Comedian / Comedy Writer. Follow my comedy on Sirius / XM Radio; I love to play guitar, perform Stand Up Comedy & time travel.
125,141 followers |

caprice crane

Novelist/Screenwriter/TV Writer
121,976 followers |

Twop Twips

PEDDLERS. Want to offer a Twop Twips prize? Phone toptipstwitter@gmail.com. (If you're really bored you could also follow @Twips2)
121,210 followers |

Ben Schwartz

Jean-Ralphio on Parks and Rec, Clyde Oberholt on House of Lies, Randy on Randy Cunningham, Performer at the UCB Theatre, Calvin and Hobbes enthusiast.
113,559 followers |

Bob Tzu

Duhism - The Impractical Wisdumb of Bob Tzu, the long-lost American cousin of Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu
93,722 followers |

Shakespeare Lyrics

Modern songs and phrases in archaic language. Submit your own & enquire: shakespearesong@yahoo.com
81,746 followers |

Steven Winterburn

【ツ】 Will follow back! Posts quotes, facts, jokes etc. some new some old. CURRENTLY HIT FOLLOW LIMIT, PLEASE BE PATIENT 【ツ】
75,297 followers |

El Beard

World's greatest lover, warrior-poet, philosopher & mariachi.
68,583 followers |

Jelisa Castrodale

Writer for NBC Sports, Jeopardy! winner, caffeine aficionado, marathon runner. I smell like pears.
64,604 followers |

Horatio Sanz

I am Horatio Sanz. I do haha's and makem ups . My face is on TV sometimes.
54,656 followers |

Joshua Allen

cockblocking beats
43,530 followers |

Lucky Shirt

Creator, writer, director, and producer of descriptions of myself.
37,258 followers |

Adam Lisagor

Proprietor of sandwichvideo.com, youlooknicetoday.com, and adamlisagor.com. So many websites!
34,539 followers |

matt

twitter user
34,329 followers |

CHEETAH POW CHICKEN

I hope my arch nemesis is as lazy as I am. Witstream contributor, dwarf tosser and matchstick flicker.
32,761 followers |

Tremendous News!

Don't follow me if you're really-really smart. You know when your math teacher asked you to carry the 1? I still don't know what that means.
31,723 followers |

Discographies

A definitive guide to an artist's body of work (studio albums only) in 140 characters.
31,003 followers |

Mike Monteiro

This is a personal account and does not reflect the opinions of my boss, who is an asshole.
30,401 followers |

MJ

I'm in a band with my dog. He barks while I eat Cheetos. It's indie, you wouldn't get it. and I'm married.
29,136 followers |

Niki

I'm super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape.
28,934 followers |

rodney

I'm awesome and sometimes I lie.
26,967 followers |

Ashley Long

My boomerang never does what it's suppose to do.
25,122 followers |

oldfunnyjoker

We find the best videos for our youtube subscribers! 134k subs and counting!
24,529 followers |

The Man

TheeDosEquissMan page was suspended. He changed his name to TheDosEquisMann to protect, Your identity. Stay Thirsty my friends. Parody
23,965 followers |

Craig S.

McGriddle Enthusiast,Once Was Forced To Sit Through 'CATS' With Poopy Underwear. RESPECT THIS PINK TOWEL!*BEEP BOOP*
23,374 followers |

donni

Comedy sandwich. Writer, riffer, fledgling opener, openly miked. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Only wrestles sea cows seasonally.
22,475 followers |

Dave Day

Laughter is a smile with the volume turned up. Live well. Love much. Laugh often.
22,152 followers |

CJ Werleman

Author of 'God Hates You. Hate him Back' (Available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/God-Hates-Hate-Back-ebook/dp/B0037Z70H6/ )
21,753 followers |

Scott Simpson

Shame is sexy
21,591 followers |

MancowMuller

20,951 followers |

Shari Vanderwerf

Stand-up comedian/writer. My husband complains that I over share on Twitter. Clearly, his hemorrhoids are just making him cranky.
19,702 followers |

Anjeanette Carter

Sarcastic Sweetheart.
18,270 followers |

Stephanie

I was born with a tail! If I had been born in India, I would have been worshiped, instead of having it cut off and scorned as a genetic freak. J/K
18,098 followers |

Jason Mustian

Hello! Do you like some things, yet dislike other things? HI! ®
17,553 followers |

Pax Paxochka

Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate
16,698 followers |

WitStream

You like? Take us with you! GET THE FREE iPHONE APP HERE! http://bit.ly/gLgYnp
16,177 followers |

David R Jennings

David is owner of Bauart Creative Services, a provider of print, broadcast, web design, e-media and photography. Sometimes he's funny.
15,812 followers |

Bill Mc7

Writer for Ladies' Home Journal and Penthouse Forum.
15,774 followers |

ruthakers

I had kids. So you didn't have to.
15,649 followers |

Nutty Jokes

Hand picked jokes and funny one liners that should bring a smile to your face. Please pass the humor along. LOL and live long!
15,152 followers |

mitchfatel

Funniest Comedian Ever
14,751 followers |

fake michael_bay

The original imposter. All others are imposter imposters.
14,746 followers |

Not Lucas Leiva

Liverpool defensive midfielder and Brazilian attacking midfielder.
14,660 followers |

Rex Huppke

A guy who writes stuff for money. Huge fan of hypocrisy. Also available on http://www.witstream.com.
14,501 followers |

Sports Minute Or So

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So) - We're Nuts about Balls!
13,590 followers |

lafix

Well groomed anarchist.
13,002 followers |

SlappNuttz

I'm the guy that your Mom and Dad approved of, but you still wanted to fuck.
12,614 followers |

Katrina Whipp

That's me in the corner. I kiss like a fish, but never cry like a lover.
11,917 followers |

Baron Vaughn

The Man. The Myth. Definitely a Myth. I'm Leo from Fairly Legal on USA.
11,297 followers |

Beerhaze

I enjoy moccasins, beer, beaches in November, people with interesting skin disorders, beer and beer.
11,218 followers |

Adam Koford

Cartoonist.
11,021 followers |

The Bosha

Get off my lawn.
10,859 followers |

Aimee B

I'm a ray of sunshine... causing cancer and starting fires.
10,786 followers |

Adam Juskewitch

Every night I steal the little gnome figurine from my neighbor's yard and replace it with a gnome that's identical but one inch taller.
10,728 followers |

Brian

I like your carpet. Is that shag? http://bdgarp.tumblr.com/
10,669 followers |

Brian Soto

Writer, semi-retired amateur lawn dart player. Will sleep for food.
10,530 followers |

JerryThomas

Nicer than a junk yard dog.
10,422 followers |

BestTweets.com

Museum for the Art of Micro-Elegance. A personal selection by Vincent Hoekstra.
10,193 followers |

RoughDiction

I'm pretty exited about you reading this.
10,046 followers |

Adam Isacson

I work at the Washington Office on Latin America (my views here, not theirs). Work-related stuff at @adam_wola.
9,946 followers |

Tammy

9,598 followers |

Bez

bake me a cake as fast as you can. faster..... FASTER
9,586 followers |

Susan

Welcome to my period tracker! Visit me on WitStream - http://www.witstream.com/#susan_grober
9,483 followers |

Josh Hopkins

father. husband. programmer. web designer. artist. geek. thinker. doer. founder of 40horse.com.
9,430 followers |

Avery Edison

Writer and comedian. No relation to the lightbulb guy. Used to be really good at math. a@averyedison.com
9,295 followers |

Robert the Brave

Your Mom's boyfriend. Eventually I'll offend you. http://favstar.fm/users/NowAPisces http://beeftongue.tumblr.com/post/235380403/us
9,084 followers |

JD Crowe

A cartoonist should be obscene and not heard. http://www.facebook.com/CroweToons You can also follow me at @crowetoons
8,487 followers |

Theresa

I collect graduate degrees and complain about things.
8,487 followers |

Back Of The Net

A surprisingly funny football blog by Mark Watson, Paul Watson, John Foster and Huw Griffiths, now in association with FourFourTwo.com.
8,484 followers |

Michael Pierce

I own a Professional Sports Franchise. Don't feel intimidated though, I never think of myself as better than you just because of my Fantasy Football Team.
8,175 followers |

(MDT) My Drunk Texts

(MDT): submit all those drunk texts you received (or sent) last night. No names necessary.
8,156 followers |

iamnotdiddy™

Aspiring daddy blogger.
8,127 followers |

shauna

WitStream.com member and writer for hire. Loved by my husband, animals, expletives, and gay men the world over. If you had a favorite brazen hussy, I'd be it.
7,889 followers |

Jonathan Sloan

The size of my fist is directly proportional to the object it's holding.
7,854 followers |

Ben Brooks

Comic, musician, writer, father & student. I write jokes and non-jokes. If that scares you, don't follow. http://www.witstream.com.
7,693 followers |

Candy Crisis

I do a really good impersonation of a Fugu fish crashing against a window at high speed.
7,495 followers |

Doctor Zaius

Just another misanthropic orangutan from the future forced to twitter by court order to learn how 'intelligent' and 'evolved' humans are
7,376 followers |

Joe Schmitt

the second T is silent
7,301 followers |

John!

from the outermost reaches of the cosmos!
7,212 followers |

Angela Helga

I'm an organ donor, but I'm pretty sure all they're going to use is my liver for *after* photos.
7,035 followers |

FunTweets.com

Funny, weird, silly, and witty tweets. Updated daily from the website.
6,972 followers |

Favstar.fm 100★'s

Sign in to favstar.fm to have it collect your favs and retweets instantly. Ask @favstar if you have questions. Enjoy!
6,953 followers |

Space Wanker

I am not an astronaut.
6,454 followers |

suzanne

Sweet & salty with a bit of bitter & a swish of sour. A captivating tangle of contradictions, longings, complexities, & gifts--just like you.
6,100 followers |

blondediva11

I enjoy breathing.
6,098 followers |

SeoulBrother

Half Seoul. All Brother. Part of the AmericanDrink.net crew.
5,937 followers |

Miss_Cook

If I fit my entire life bio into one line, I'm never gonna get that book deal. Boobies.
5,715 followers |

Stephanie

Hey, turtleface. Want a peanut? sprattacus [at] gmail
5,658 followers |

Bailey Siewert

I am very opinionated when it comes to murals.
5,601 followers |

Derek

I write because they won't let me play with the scissors anymore.
5,180 followers |

Soap Box Liberal

Don't believe everything you read.
5,006 followers |

Ticklish Junk

The original angry bird.
4,451 followers |

Trelvix

Banalities, indiscretions and occasional blasphemy.
4,389 followers |

Wade

As seen in the audience of many 1990s talk shows.
4,340 followers |

randomisms

Apart from sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
4,316 followers |

Nick Alias Plemur

Cerebrity. plaidlemur[at]gmail.com
4,278 followers |

Jess

Retired dancer, aspiring author, new mom, all-around fucking badass. I make mischiefs and shenanigans (and babies!) with @GorillaSushi.
4,183 followers |

best girl betty

sour cream and onion glitter
4,167 followers |

Bobby Slayton

The Pitbull Of Comedy
4,113 followers |

Chris Pinckney

Sorry about that last tweet.
4,097 followers |

Fake Michael Bay

Guns | Explosions | Shredding Guitar Solos | Money!
4,034 followers |

derekasaurus

Your capricious attention makes me feel less dead inside.
4,031 followers |

Modat

**frat-boy lewdness** -The New Yorker
4,020 followers |

JoeSportsFan

Online sports humor publication (columns, videos, podcasts). Sports entertainment for the average fan.
3,981 followers |

Jane

She's come undone.
3,640 followers |

Tiffany

Misunderstood Southern belle.
3,608 followers |

Miss Creant

I am a symphony of contradictions.
3,387 followers |

Peter

If you believe any of this you're probably in the wrong Facebook.
3,385 followers |

Corey Hinds

I like to say stuff.
3,278 followers |

Christy Ann

I like cookies.
3,223 followers |

richmckay

I was born, never really learned to dance properly, never got over that stage where you can freely wear capes without people questioning you, and then it's now.
2,510 followers |

@tnylgn

come back they said. tweet they said. it'll be fun they said.
2,464 followers |

Rachael Kathryn

I'm not diggin' the dancin' queen :(
2,425 followers |

Sports Soup

2,401 followers |

Jane Doe

2,321 followers |

Happens for a reason

Colour within your own lines. You're messing up my page.
2,082 followers |

Rich B

I was born in the back of a greyhound bus, rolling down highway 41
1,800 followers |

Frieda Club

No kidding, your mother must be a very interesting person.
1,654 followers |

Your Real Dad

As seen on Twitter. Rocket ship navigator, Nudist & Autotonsorialist. Made from 90% recycled awesome & 10% post-consumer waste. My hand is pretty awesome.
1,486 followers |

ICE COLD BEER

1,417 followers |

W

I go from fluffy, cute & cuddly to twisted, perverse & bizarre in under 2.4 seconds. I collect abused & ill informed letters of the alphabet. I love to fart.
1,263 followers |

Rick After Dark

I hope I don't forget to replace this placeholder text with something incredibly amusing.
1,223 followers |

Brendan McLaughlin

Stand-up Comic, Writer, Soda Jerk
1,162 followers |

Mark Gonzales

stand-up comedian. mischievous drunk. pro wrestling lover. music keeps me alive. i've never missed a plane yet. lakers. creator of @FEAR_LA
1,124 followers |

LeFonk ®

Lesbians shouldnt be allowed dildos.... they made their choice.
958 followers |

TweeterTrash

My other Twitter account has over 500,000 followers.
893 followers |

Dylan Leonard

I write stuff while standing on the boundary between comedy and philosophy...if there is one.
807 followers |

General Misdemeanor

Sometimes I sit and think, sometimes I just sit.
657 followers |

mike toole

523 followers |

Adam Moore

Live to Laugh. I am a SEO Consultant/Biz Owner Who Lives on James Island
451 followers |

Dan Oleski

I own a puppy mill.
338 followers |

TheFunnyElite

If you're funny and you know it, follow me. I RT and share the funny.
315 followers |

WorkingStiff1

Climbing up the corporate flow chart of life.... because I have to.
297 followers |

Curated by Mike R
Submitted by DilPickles

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