My Favstar.fm List

Follow →    View on Twitter →

Meeting Boy

I hate my job.
129,958 followers |

Kelly Shannon Kelly✩

I tweet funny oneliners and will #followback! Adventurer, world traveler, photographer
105,764 followers |

Ned's Dread

When you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Just a dude, trying to find my way home, and fighting evil on the way.
79,731 followers |

Maxx

I was born. When I was 11 I got my first computer. Then I started writing funny tweets. That's still what I am doing. The end. #TwitterBio
77,084 followers |

Rocks of Sisyphus

Not as dumb as we look, but dumber than we had all hoped. We don't know much, but we do know music. We'd still like you for our puppets, please!
59,844 followers |

Disalmanac

The Disalmanac Book of Fact-Like Facts comes out in 2013 from Perigee/Penguin. Disalmanac@gmail.com (no submissions). Disalmanac is @batemanimation.
50,334 followers |

Jocelyn Plums

Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! http://FilthyRichmond.com
39,955 followers |

Jamie Capria

The average person laughs 15 times a day... that's not nearly enough. http://favstar.fm/users/MrFornicator http://twirtydozen.com/
35,935 followers |

              

Harv Griffin – Extrusion Troubleshooter – You probably know someone who writes novels in their spare time, never getting any interest. I’m that guy.
30,121 followers |

Jack Mackenroth

Delusional, over-exposed G-lister. NSFAnyone. Generally horrid. I just slept with your dad and it was gross.
25,652 followers |

Annika O'Brien

Programmer turned Roboticist. I make a lot of computer, video game & robot references.
25,282 followers |

Miss Fuckalicious

Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot.
24,689 followers |

donni

Comedy sandwich. Writer, riffer, fledgling opener, openly miked. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Only wrestles sea cows seasonally.
22,475 followers |

Kelkulus

I'm starting to regret dumping Adele. @ replies on @kelkulus2. Visual jokes on Instagram & Facebook. http://favstar.fm/users/kelkulus
22,017 followers |

CJ Werleman

Author of 'God Hates You. Hate him Back' (Available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/God-Hates-Hate-Back-ebook/dp/B0037Z70H6/ )
21,753 followers |

Wes Johnson

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
21,260 followers |

Marcello Morello

Stand-up comedian that likes to get drunk and yell at people he doesn't know, for something they haven't done.
20,778 followers |

JP the Janitor

Founder of Uncle's Day, 1st Wed. in January. Presidential candidate. Nominee, CNN Heroes Award. The Janitor formerly knows as Hadd.
19,821 followers |

Shari Vanderwerf

Stand-up comedian/writer. My husband complains that I over share on Twitter. Clearly, his hemorrhoids are just making him cranky.
19,702 followers |

Jessica

My boyfriend asked for anal, so I alphabetized his DVD collection.
17,465 followers |

Pax Paxochka

Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate
16,698 followers |

Hormonella, damn it!

My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill.
15,942 followers |

Facing Africa

Facing Africa organises and funds teams of volunteer surgeons to do facial reconstruction on children whose faces have been destroyed by the disease noma.
15,009 followers |

Eve Edison

Happy twittering girl - sometimes offensive, sometimes awesome. :)
14,544 followers |

Aspersioncast

It's always a pleasure to meet someone with no sense of humour, then when I fuck with their head, it's unbelievably satisfying.
13,428 followers |

Chopper

Yeah, I really just said that…Get over it http://favstar.fm/users/chopper4jk
13,176 followers |

Belvedere & Bourbon

We drink therefore we are...drunk.
13,092 followers |

Shane

Twitter should be an escape, not a destination.
13,040 followers |

Booty Whisperer

Ruiner of things. A devil on your shoulder. All around mediocre guy.
12,907 followers |

★★ Adam ♛

Stern, Yet Fair.. Bodybuilding, Musician, Theoretical critic, Self-assured genius with a realistic yet encouraging perceptive on life, Confident but reserved ✔✔
12,735 followers |

Buck

17% funnier than someone not trying to be funny at all. http://favstar.fm/users/buck4itt http://buck4itt.tumblr.com/
12,538 followers |

Nick Stadler

Gay cartoonist and graphic designer. I release my bad thoughts via Tweet. It's therapeutic. Roseanne Barr once referred to me as hilarious.
12,429 followers |

Katrina Whipp

That's me in the corner. I kiss like a fish, but never cry like a lover.
11,917 followers |

Mark Campbell

Writer for hire. I tweet, so you don't have to. In fact, I tweet a lot. It's okay. I love you. But not as much as freezies. No siree. Now, boogie!
11,862 followers |

Ella or Denise

As soon as my husband starts his car I jump back in bed. I once drank a 12 pack of Stellartois at a baby shower.
11,842 followers |

Monica

If you can't play the blues you may as well hang it up...
11,349 followers |

wheatnik

A staggering case of narcissism gone wrong. Still filterless after all these years. 73% of my tweets are about sex. 28% are about tv. 16% are about math.
11,306 followers |

Beerhaze

I enjoy moccasins, beer, beaches in November, people with interesting skin disorders, beer and beer.
11,218 followers |

Hebrew Hammer

Sarcastic asshole that is hairier and jewier than you are. All the girls say that because I'm jewish that I'm cheap and have a small dick. Dead on
11,083 followers |

the_moonface

There should be a cleverly written paragraph about how unique and special I am written here.
11,057 followers |

Adam Juskewitch

Every night I steal the little gnome figurine from my neighbor's yard and replace it with a gnome that's identical but one inch taller.
10,728 followers |

Brian

I like your carpet. Is that shag? http://bdgarp.tumblr.com/
10,669 followers |

Brian Soto

Writer, semi-retired amateur lawn dart player. Will sleep for food.
10,530 followers |

JerryThomas

Nicer than a junk yard dog.
10,425 followers |

designersays

When coworkers piss me off, I start sending them very serious work-related emails with a blank subject line. Don't fuck with me.
10,152 followers |

Just Call Me Frank™©

Devil succubi mistresses. Queens of stabby. Alleged keepers of madness. Lunatic fans of quip. We don't follow yer fucking rules. We're us. Who the fuck are you.
10,078 followers |

William K. Wolfrum

I am a journalist, satirist, husbandist & dogist.
10,064 followers |

Josh stern

If you get a kick out of the tweets- -you're hopelessly twisted- Here's a link where you can download a FREE SAMPLE of my BOOK: http://amzn.to/L7WSZt
10,033 followers |

Zoey Martin

Reformed Perfectionist, Parent Adventurer, All-Round Geek and Photo Enthusiast
9,600 followers |

Tammy

9,598 followers |

Mongrel Heart

Rock 'n' Roll Queen. CEO of my vagina. Instigator. John Candy's love child. One half of Fingerbang Radio with Adie and Shaan.
9,571 followers |

Aimee Giese

Things I like: @bugfrog, our kid, design, music, travel, photography & working @giesemedia. I have 68 characters left, but really - that about sums it up.
9,503 followers |

Knight

Just a silly guy who tweets things that will either make you laugh, or unfollow. Follow at your own risk.
9,402 followers |

Robert the Brave

Your Mom's boyfriend. Eventually I'll offend you. http://favstar.fm/users/NowAPisces http://beeftongue.tumblr.com/post/235380403/us
9,084 followers |

Lee

Queer Butch, Spoken Word Poet, Unusual Suspect with a minor in Thinking Guru- Sometimes I see dead people, sadly most of them are still alive.
9,054 followers |

matt tice

lets make a pillow fort to fuck in
8,934 followers |

Haleys_Hell

I am a delicate flower. Please don't fucking pee on my petals.
8,912 followers |

Bad Bad Leeroy Brown

....Baddest man in the whole damn town.
8,623 followers |

ShoutingGoddess

Don't read this shit, go read a book.
8,602 followers |

JD Crowe

A cartoonist should be obscene and not heard. http://www.facebook.com/CroweToons You can also follow me at @crowetoons
8,487 followers |

Aaron

seal & yacht clubber
8,394 followers |

Mike Schism

People think i'm self centered, they are so wrong i am more like off centered. (don't follow if you're easily offended)
8,348 followers |

Peter Sharkface

I tweet about Batman, Jesus, Chewbacca and my family, often in the same tweet, then illustrate them at http://mothrust.tumblr.com/
8,313 followers |

Michael Pierce

I own a Professional Sports Franchise. Don't feel intimidated though, I never think of myself as better than you just because of my Fantasy Football Team.
8,175 followers |

Stacy

This is my bile and where I practice the art of typos. http://favstar.fm/users/Stexcy
8,130 followers |

Sean Gabay

Not Patrick Duffy.
8,108 followers |

jon

Titular pianist
7,993 followers |

Jason

It takes police too long to respond to 911 calls. If I get robbed I'm ordering Chinese food and asking them to bring a gun.
7,973 followers |

Total HipsterDickbag

I'll make you tweet your tight little buns off. Is gay comedy still a thing (crosses fingers)? Fathers, lock up your sons!
7,832 followers |

Ben Brooks

Comic, musician, writer, father & student. I write jokes and non-jokes. If that scares you, don't follow. http://www.witstream.com.
7,693 followers |

Steve Mieczkowski

I only have 26 letters to work with. Don't expect any miracles.
7,546 followers |

Candy Crisis

I do a really good impersonation of a Fugu fish crashing against a window at high speed.
7,495 followers |

Terrill Fischer

Training Consultant & Improvisor. I make Meetings & Trainings Fun & Effective. Be in the moment and share laughter.
7,418 followers |

Dosie'sRandomThought

Publicly, here on Twitter- I'm coming out of the closet. I hate my kids. There I said it.
7,256 followers |

Theodora Chester

Lapsed writer, collecting distractions
7,163 followers |

Angela Helga

I'm an organ donor, but I'm pretty sure all they're going to use is my liver for *after* photos.
7,035 followers |

Abe

I type words on my home computer and then, using an internet connection, I post those words to the world wide web. In my spare time I teach first grade.
6,952 followers |

JRehling

Help. I am joke writer for jrehling twitter. Live in boat with six other boys. He mean, no feed us, write jokes. World save us.
6,929 followers |

Will O'Fend

Ex ninja master, porn star, writer, lover, actor, I tickle crocodiles for fun, big time liar.
6,911 followers |

VocabuLarry

If this had been an actual emergency, we would still play that irritating noise.
6,772 followers |

Wickedwordslinger

I took my crazy neighbor's name since he doesn't do internet and won't know. I am here for the laughs and my wife @aprilsmist is my partner in crime and life.
6,749 followers |

Brian

Just another black man caught up in the mix. Trying to use my 15¢ at the Dollar Tree. Finds big butts and smiles untrustworthy
6,711 followers |

Erica B.

Ground pounder specializing in trash talking, beach bumming & burning toast
6,703 followers |

Lori

Lip balm makes me happy.
6,632 followers |

nerdamage

I tweet so you don't have to.
6,613 followers |

Stings

There's a line here.... Mostly spermacide and cocaine, but a line never the less.
6,464 followers |

Space Wanker

I am not an astronaut.
6,454 followers |

Steven

About me. Where to start...oh wait...something shiny!!! If you are under 21 please go away. You make me feel old & dirty
6,445 followers |

UCMEICU2

WARNING: Tweets may not be suitable for normal humans. Tweets may get aggressive when mixed with alcohol. Feelings not wanted!
6,400 followers |

Gordon

Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things. Aspiring Superhero or Evil Genius. Unreliable. Easily distracte...
6,317 followers |

Tink

Don't Feed the Faerie. I'm British and bite.
6,304 followers |

Traylor Parker

The King of the Trailer Park. http://www.youtube.com/traylorparker
6,276 followers |

swollenvoice

Jokes are meant to be told, heard and laughed at. I am the speed reading champ among dyslexic 1st graders.
6,258 followers |

Brian

Comfortably Numb
6,238 followers |

Shireen Soussen ♔

Gallivanter of curious, dreamy places. I'm not a mystic or a student of Carl Gustav Jung. Views: http://favstar.fm/users/thelastvirgo Personal: @ShireenSoussen
6,215 followers |

Sister Whitloe

Freelance nun
6,199 followers |

suzanne

Sweet & salty with a bit of bitter & a swish of sour. A captivating tangle of contradictions, longings, complexities, & gifts--just like you.
6,100 followers |

blondediva11

I enjoy breathing.
6,098 followers |

Pauly Miller

When I grow up I want to be a carny.
6,084 followers |

Major Unzipped Fly

Don't worry, I'm not THAT fly, unless I need to be. Boozacon, booze and bacon is the breakfast/lunch/dinner of champs. #teambaconandtequila
5,999 followers |

MyPointWas

the very best of mypointwas.
5,927 followers |

Shhhhh....

This is why I'm single.
5,862 followers |

Dr. Twittenheimer

I'm not a comedic genius. I'm just a regular genius who writes brilliant jokes. Check out my new website and book! http://www.drtwittenheimer.com/
5,814 followers |

KikiPop

Send vodka and chocolate STAT. Then we'll talk.
5,559 followers |

Mariana Rivera

When I grow up I want to do a firefighter.
5,529 followers |

Spacewad

I talk to myself, but I rarely listen.
5,431 followers |

Andy Erikson

I'm one fourth of a siamese unicorn. :: http://favstar.fm/users/andyerikson
5,406 followers |

Craving

Subterranean zombie - the brain's the sexiest organ we have. Lay down next to me so your entrails come out easier.
5,400 followers |

Carlos

*Tap,Tap,Tap* Is this thing on
5,373 followers |

matt

This is all make believe like Bernoulli and his stupid principle.
5,371 followers |

Adrian Woodworth

Throwing semi-colons around; like a maverick.
5,350 followers |

iamjenn2

I say things on the internet.
5,335 followers |

Relo

I'm with the band. Recipient of the Nathaniel Hawthorne Prize for Judgmental Nature. Also, I like cookies.
5,334 followers |

skullcat

Using sarcasm as a natural defense against companionship, and alcohol as artificial protection from sobriety. Mom to teen, designer to graphics.
5,327 followers |

Joel Ingersoll

I get up and I put on pants.
5,321 followers |

Norm

I'm fake BS principle on everything in life. I live in my head. I like card tricks. For entertainment purposes only.
5,261 followers |

Dumbassador

Sometimes, I'm behind on followbacks, list adds & updates. Sorry. Jed's A Millionaire in concert Friday, June 1st at The Roxy @theroxyLOT (Arizona) peace JED
5,253 followers |

Crazy Girl

I'll CapitaliZe whatEver Fucking letter I wAnt, You'll paint Your own Canvas & evolve. I'm 1 knOt whole & he's AwhDiddyTweets
5,241 followers |

Aristotles

My avi is one of 3 reasons why I live and why I drink. Father of 3 little boys. Husband of 1 Wife. http://favstar.fm/users/AristotlesNZ
5,219 followers |

Captain Caffeine

Coffee in my left hand, twitter on my right. Something something something, Your mother is tight. http://Liqucity.tumblr.com
5,133 followers |

Jason Light

The Official Twitter Feed For Jason Light...It's Official because I said so!
5,131 followers |

Kim

I'm not a doctor, but I think there's something wrong with you.
5,126 followers |

Liz T. Goddess

Corporate Middle Manager by day. Domestic Goddess by night. I tweet a lot!
5,105 followers |

Green Like Cash

5,047 followers |

alyssa k-diggles

Former high school valedictorian, beauty queen and Olympic athlete. I'M KIDDING NONE OF THIS IS TRUE! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE!
4,857 followers |

Grant Pardee

a literally perfect boy
4,812 followers |

Pixel Piper

Morally obtuse, she-nerd, iphone app developer with cynical tendencies...always had that pithy non sequitur thing going on.
4,803 followers |

Joshinator

World Class Ping Pong Champion 1996. Kidding. 1998.
4,778 followers |

Nicole Betz

I laugh at jokes I understand.
4,714 followers |

Just Bill

I'll be here all weak.
4,687 followers |

Agent Fuckitt

I hatched from a Cadburys Creme Egg in the late 1700s. Live in a Romanian travelling circus and my Native American name is 'He who runs with scissors'.
4,657 followers |

cfishing

Pink, it's what's for dinner. Current project, Wind Pissers Guide To Dominance.
4,596 followers |

¢armel d ¢oleman

tweet, tweet.
4,541 followers |

KarenLyneButler

Living my life vicariously through the twittering of others. You follow me & I'll follow you.
4,516 followers |

sara

Spent two hours coming up with this bio. It's the best work I've done all week.
4,515 followers |

Tara Brown

Star of Bravo's hit show, The Real Housewives of The Lactating Ghetto.
4,426 followers |

Uncle John

I'm the Uncle that asked you to pull my finger.
4,421 followers |

Joel Jeffrey

Original Tweeter. Radio Personality. Comedian. Size 13 feet. Mishapen Head. Beautiful Skin. http://favstar.fm/users/joeljeffrey/most_retweeted
4,325 followers |

Jessica Rabbit.

Second account for @JessicaFancy, silly. Now give me a cupcake.
4,230 followers |

Mark

In a committed relationship. Maui is my dog, and my favorite island. Formally trained in visual arts, but also write. Always thinking and dreaming.
4,202 followers |

Captain Morgan

Fuck romance, I want a burrito.
4,154 followers |

Rock God

Rock God, Chess Piece, and Butt Plug. I am the Holy Trinity of Twitter.
4,145 followers |

Classy Cassy

Emotional, single and sexually frustrated cat owner. Got a dog too.
4,004 followers |

No \/acancy

Committing several deadly sins daily ;) says... if the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
3,990 followers |

Sugar Tits

Because McMuffin was already taken. Follow my Sugar Pussy on @BitchyMcTits2
3,950 followers |

that hard way guy

I recently relocated to Las Vegas. These are the things that I've learned. The hard way.
3,937 followers |

Chez McCorvey

brilliant useless idea generating machine, 3 time jelly bean jar counting champion, undercover bedazzler, truly believe that gum can change the world
3,920 followers |

Scarlett Fever

Music video junkie who adores great kids, particularly mine. Collecting friends who rock, get me, or otherwise fascinate.
3,917 followers |

Doodyhead

Non PC drunk tickilish sexual deviant (spanker) and omnivore. Ex-Soldier. I'm more of a nipple guy than a boob guy, although they kinda go together.
3,878 followers |

This Charming Man

After all these years, my wife still calls me charming. She just says it with more sarcasm and disdain now.
3,847 followers |

Eagle Vision

These are jokes! I go to prepare a tweet for you. If it were not so, I would have #serious issues. Kid tested, Ben Stiller approved.
3,836 followers |

Feel the Steel

Partner at Fuch, Hoff & Dye, Attorneys at Law
3,811 followers |

Ghetto Trophy

I reserve the right to give ghetto trophies. All material is original unless otherwise stated. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ @Peoples_trophy ;)
3,761 followers |

freckle face

the following was based on a true story. no actual feelings were hurt in the writing of that tweet.
3,713 followers |

Speely Freaking

Some people have really funny bios. I don't.
3,705 followers |

Becca

I'm not a comedian. Yet. But the fact that my family hates me is a good start.
3,658 followers |

A Guy Named Kelly

Apathy activist and connoisseur of exotic mustards. The dog does all the writing.
3,623 followers |

Mudder Fucker

I'm Stoned, Full of Shit and I Half to Pee. My lady is 1knotwhole. Talk to me for follow back
3,602 followers |

NotKarma

I can make the kids downstairs believe it's snowing just by scratching my head at the balcony.
3,584 followers |

Zombie Girl

Caffeine is my crack... Nostalgic for the Paleozoic.... If you know my life purpose please, please, call me.....
3,569 followers |

Susan Spiaggia

Bank auditor, road warrior, Southerner, runner, bibliophile, OCD but in an adorable way. I love red wine and the beach. My favorite color is clear.
3,555 followers |

dudi sharon

I wish I had the ability to read my own mind.
3,515 followers |

MisterPrankster

From a bird's eye view we're all just target practice.
3,509 followers |

snicky

♋
3,462 followers |

Debby B.

I have 2 kids and a husband. What's your excuse?
3,395 followers |

Jimmy Fairplay

In 1972, I was sent to prison for a crime I didn't commit. I escaped to the LA underground. Today, still wanted by the gov., I survive as a soldier of fortune.
3,355 followers |

Marky Moe

CPA by day. I can wear the shit out of a Cowboy Hat. Husband and Dad. I will duck hunt for food. My ipod kicks ass. Former QB for Univ of Phoenix Online.
3,345 followers |

Sergio

Sometimes I'm Insightful and Witty; then I wake up. Inspirational Asshole.
3,340 followers |

Peace

Owned by 2 dogs, professional bullshitter, mixer of words, and tells it like it is.
3,326 followers |

Desi Princess

Girl in Progress
3,325 followers |

Miss Understood

Since joining twitter, I've spent the last year of my life hungry for the last hour & having to pee for the last two.
3,323 followers |

Jonesy

Come for the silly, stay for the witty and bear with the shitty.
3,242 followers |

Brian Matthews

Just some guy from Canada eh.
3,210 followers |

Bouche Dag

Just a guy with some F'*$d up thoughts trying to make it through the days without jumping
3,204 followers |

Mick Farrell

I played Tony's left moob in season 3 of The Sopranos.
3,188 followers |

freaksong, probably

http://bit.ly/HvkeFA Funny & Under lists: 125 http://bit.ly/x4qKTV 275 http://bit.ly/zyAZrg 450 http://bit.ly/zow6Qc 700 http://bit.ly/yw24Gr 800 MIA :0/
3,145 followers |

Viley Virus

I am a man trapped inside the body of a female demon & one day if you're lucky I will be inside of you- WORSHIP ME!
3,129 followers |

BedheadBunny

I'm a shy and delicate flower, bitches.
3,111 followers |

Pinky

Don't be offended if I call you Hon, Hon ~ and you may tie them in pretty bows, but don't fucking step on my ribbons. http://favstar.fm/users/HerPinkRibbons
3,109 followers |

eCornuto

I'm kind of like Good Will Hunting except less janitorial.
3,089 followers |

Michael

Likes -Pizza, Chili, Nachos, pumping Iron, a good cigar, a bad cigar, Traveling, Cats, Candy -specially Snickers, old Popeye cartoons, cookies and milk, hotdogs
3,078 followers |

Josh

If anyone wants to come by later and talk about how 1 is the loneliest number I'm free pretty much all day.
3,077 followers |

Clay

Ziggy Stardust impersonator. Will play funerals, corporate events, bar/bat mitzvahs.
3,057 followers |

FredasaurusRex

fucking your life up 140 characters at a time.
3,028 followers |

Flaptain Oinkstar

Typoet Laureate
3,023 followers |

Jessica

Everybody chill the fuck out, I got this.
3,018 followers |

Token Geezer

I'm just a minor threat
2,975 followers |

Madame LaCrooz

Living La Dolce Vita, except in color.
2,968 followers |

Tolle Haus

I like to laugh. You?
2,966 followers |

Bunny On The Loose

Something Something in here later.
2,942 followers |

ex karma

nurse, mother, & all-around dipshit.
2,903 followers |

Ska Cat

Professional Make-up artist. Amateur Womble.
2,901 followers |

Drew

Submarine Warfare qualified. Stockbroker. Born with no skills or talents. It's pronounced Būt-löd. Happily married to @tweetcheeks22.
2,859 followers |

pixiedintheark

*May not contain actual pixie. Contents may unsettle.
2,845 followers |

Undead Cyborg

I used to make it to the Leaderboard, if you can believe it. http://favstar.fm/users/zombot/ http://brainslush.tumblr.com
2,837 followers |

Southern Insomniac

Southern gal with a quirky view on life...figured out what it's all about, but I'm still hanging around.
2,819 followers |

Linda

Best friend is Pippa my Yorkie. Soulmate ditto. Companion ditto. Confidant ditto. Pippa likes people. I don't.
2,798 followers |

Jimmy Snow

Hey! Don't follow if under 18 or easily offended!
2,796 followers |

Prozach

I'm sorry, I didn't hear you through all the fuck I was busy not giving
2,791 followers |

Nic Thacker

My name is Nic and I do tweets.
2,763 followers |

Pam

You want a bio? Just keep reading.
2,755 followers |

brent

I'm just a guy with stuff.
2,738 followers |

Vincent Vasectomy

Shouting out inappropriate shit enriching lives. Enjoys riots and snorting ants. I suffer from acephalia My tumblr @ http://mentalvasectomy.com
2,708 followers |

Eminence Front

I have stagefright and a bottle of scotch
2,677 followers |

Victoria

Still riding the short bus. Laissez les bon temps rouler!
2,670 followers |

Joe Fucking Biden

NSFW The big fucking deal, very crude, vulgar profanity xxx HUMOR. I am the Anti-Biden. Verified RWNJ . All jokes are mine
2,619 followers |

BrattyBarbie

There is always a funny redhead. Always. --- @jtichtich
2,616 followers |

Gem

I dine. I travel. I shop. I network. I'm a little bit of this, a little bit of that and a few of those. People live vicariously through my tweets.
2,564 followers |

richmckay

I was born, never really learned to dance properly, never got over that stage where you can freely wear capes without people questioning you, and then it's now.
2,510 followers |

I didn't do it.

So Fuck Off!
2,487 followers |

John M

I've been meaning to change this; maybe tomorrow. (memo to self: include procrastination as a hobby in new bio)
2,483 followers |

Steve Tweeters

Neurotic. Also, father of 5. Also, have ADD. While we're being honest, kind of an alcoholic also.
2,469 followers |

Cajun Kuzin

Who you calling a Coonass?
2,451 followers |

Bradley Duffy

An actor, singer, improvisor and karaoke whore. Based in Vancouver, currently on tour in Winnipeg. http://favstar.fm/users/BradleyJDuffy
2,447 followers |

M. Chad Durham

Frustrated Writer, Loving Husband, Struggling Parent, Apathetic Cubiclean, Amateur Comedian. Find The PG13 Bull at http://www.facebook/mchaddurham
2,445 followers |

Edward

I'd say I'm NSFW; but I don't know where the hell you work. You could work at an Adult Bookstore. In that case, I'm SFW. http://eddiecoins.tumblr.com/
2,440 followers |

Daniel Islas

Only the Skipper knows... and Mary Ann's gynecologist.
2,425 followers |

Rachael Kathryn

I'm not diggin' the dancin' queen :(
2,425 followers |

You ignorant slut

Raging introvert in real life. Can't seem to shut it on twitter.
2,417 followers |

Gary

Human
2,415 followers |

The Reverend

Sinner. Degenerate. Scrapbooker.
2,405 followers |

Brendan Sean Ross

Biographer, belletrist, editor, failed novelist, I am perhaps most successful at happening to be in the right place at the wrong time.
2,404 followers |

YWIR

Guy / reptile / internet expert
2,390 followers |

technopriest5

I clearly left my self esteem in my other pants.
2,377 followers |

Terrence of Arabia

Just trying to figure out a way all the voices in my head can sing together on key. Occasionally they write shit down, and I try to sell it.
2,342 followers |

deb

Xtra tiny
2,327 followers |

Tanya Johnston

Grumpy Old Woman When I star a tweet,it doesn't always mean I think it's funny.It can also mean I hear you, I agree, or even I am sorry to hear about it
2,286 followers |

Pamela

rambling 30 something optimist..spreading light and love..not her legs..so don't ask!
2,266 followers |

S. Anthony Thomas

Comedian. Work in perpetual progress.
2,266 followers |

Kim

Sugar and snark.
2,259 followers |

Bill

Born nude and unable to provide for himself, Bill eventually overcame these handicaps enough to help two others with the same predicament.
2,254 followers |

pierced brat ©

degradable.
2,237 followers |

Formerly MaxHoopla

Was voted funniest comedian in a scientific poll among the raccoons living in my attic.
2,227 followers |

Anastasia Kazakevich

My hobbies include shiny things, bubble-wrap, and pretending we all live in Ancient Rome. http://theoneandonlyanastasiak.blogspot.com/
2,216 followers |

Madelene

Editor in chief, investigative reporter. I mix fun and news. Star of parallel parking.
2,161 followers |

Brian

If you want or have drama, I will not follow you.
2,150 followers |

Sandra Enns-Arnell

Don't worry, I'm a professional.
2,110 followers |

ihatemytv

This place smells like vomit
2,107 followers |

Benn Fucking Tastic

Fuck like you need money. Stalk like they're already falling in love with you. You're welcome.
2,100 followers |

Wynne McLaughlin

Sr. Designer, Star Wars: The Old Republic - When I was a kid, I hated puns. I think I've groan.
2,093 followers |

Cindy K

Things I wonder about
2,093 followers |

Bado

Lifelong goal: Get on Wheel of Fortune, spin the wheel, and tell Pat Sajak that I'll take a P
2,088 followers |

Jose

19 almost 20, asshole, pshycologist student (fucking ironic i know) Alaniss Morrisette is my mom.
2,083 followers |

YL

I play jazz/fusion and make commentary about stupid shit!! In addition I flog unicorns and eat lemonheads while I juggle llama excrement. Available 4 parties!
2,031 followers |

J

Lipgloss junkie. I think my boyfriend speaks English, but I still can't understand him.
2,026 followers |

Drinky Liversore

A humble expert on time travel and crotch anger.
2,000 followers |

Arthur Slugworth

President of Slugworth Chocolates Incorporated
2,000 followers |

404 Girl

Oversharer, traveler extraordinaire, pirate-ninja. There is also pie to be had, because the cake is a lie. I don't tweet much, so it's a win-win for everyone!
1,994 followers |

absco

Columbo fan
1,967 followers |

TC

The quest for the unattainable, my most ignorant of plights. It'll never be explainable, cause the thought of you incites...riots & pillaging.
1,961 followers |

Miss Fucking Awesome

I love puppies. Sometimes I stab them.
1,952 followers |

A J Franks

A compilation of bad decisions, angst, and regret. Twitter is just one more thing for me to worry about.
1,949 followers |

PerryJerisho

Comedy writer, blogger, author, and cancer survivor. Omnipresent. Perspicacious. Get off my lawn, you punks.
1,936 followers |

Carpe rectum

http://favstar.fm/users/jk_i_quit_favstar
1,932 followers |

Cecelia

From the foreign country of whatever the fuck you want you get.
1,909 followers |

Ryan

If I had another brain it would be lonely.
1,885 followers |

VirgoSherry

It's just me
1,871 followers |

Assi

I'll go straight for Superman. I shit like 10x a day.
1,867 followers |

Zino Macaluso

Wow. Your baby is really ugly.
1,834 followers |

St. Paul Revere

America's first tattle-tail. I love history and horses and getting caught in the rain.
1,802 followers |

hooch

Trophy wife. Soccer mom. 420 enthusiast. Caffeine junkie. Candle smeller. Curb tripper. Laugh lover. Thought thinker. Soul seeker.
1,777 followers |

Zen Bubba

I don't have time to watch our friendship bloom, can we just fast forward to the place where I can borrow your car?
1,773 followers |

Patrick Kerr

Vegas showboy. One time Noel on FRASIER and the blind guy on CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM. Left-handed politics. Palmer method.
1,756 followers |

Jim

Writer, thinker, pretty much enjoys airports strip searches, can't wait for his next prostate exam, honest bullshitter, writes books and feeds them to goats
1,749 followers |

Mickey Bruce

...established Nov 25, 2010
1,730 followers |

iamyourguy

Writer for The Daily Show, Family Guy, Futurama, and a pathological liar.
1,713 followers |

Angry Fred

Working class antihero sharing an office with a troglodyte, living with a couple of personality disorders, poor anger management, & a bit of a drinking problem.
1,707 followers |

Crutnacker

I'm a board certified witch doctor with an MFA in sandwich art. My hobbies are sculpting earwax and cooking with glue.
1,691 followers |

Szargasm

An evil fucking mad man (that's redundant) trying to regain some sense of sanity. Hahahahahahahaha...
1,686 followers |

Carol Thompson

1,677 followers |

Word Nonsense

I write because they took my fire away... If you lower your expectations (a lot) I seem funny and maybe even awesome.
1,664 followers |

David

Any other use of this telecast or any pictures, descriptions, or accounts of the game without DavidsAlterEgo's consent is prohibited..
1,662 followers |

Orpheus Descending

#Underwhelmed by my own #apathy
1,661 followers |

Anthony_B

I am just here for the ride.
1,658 followers |

ohhhlivia

Absurdity is 9/10ths of the law.
1,657 followers |

David

Will never understand what women want. What do they want? They eat green salad and drink human blood.
1,654 followers |

Frieda Club

No kidding, your mother must be a very interesting person.
1,654 followers |

ThatFuckingJap

I CAN BEAT SUPER MARIO BROS. WITHOUT JUMPING.
1,647 followers |

Meadowsnark Lemon

Brother, can you spare a lime?
1,633 followers |

Mr. Nova

I star, therefore I am.
1,630 followers |

James kothe

Christian, Conservative and damned sick of bureaucrats sticking their noses in my business. Take responsibility for yourselves!
1,629 followers |

Shenanigans

I put hot sauce on my popcorn. I have a cat named Stanky. I once attempted to climb Mt. Everest but stayed home to masturbate instead.
1,625 followers |

Kenny H

I am a Ha Ha funny guy. Daily one line quotes from famous comedians as well as my quotes.
1,621 followers |

~

It's all on Wikipedia.
1,615 followers |

Knotta Boy

Profanity laced ramblings.
1,596 followers |

The Real JazzyJeffro

Living 2 houses down from severe depression in a cozy place I like to call Mourning Wood Manor. The stoner side of @Donkeyramp
1,579 followers |

Wonder Monkey

When I was 7 I wrote 'SHIT' on my neighbor's garage because he wouldn't let me play in his tree fort. Why am I telling you this? (Contributor to @StyleWeekly)
1,562 followers |

Eric Bowles

Im @letsdancebitchs I belong to @HisDancingBitch shes my better half.
1,536 followers |

Ryan Collins

President of Earth Leader of the Free Fucking World
1,534 followers |

Terra Partis

I provide random insight to strangers because I can.
1,531 followers |

JDT

Returning from places unknown...
1,518 followers |

B. Webster

Teller of inappropriate, untimely jokes.
1,514 followers |

keithland

i just like to laugh
1,510 followers |

Shaunie

http://favstar.fm/users/BlondShaunBlond
1,506 followers |

Mister El Guapo

1,499 followers |

Hoptical Illusion

I have no excuse for the way I'm about to behave.
1,493 followers |

R

it's alright, baby's coming back
1,487 followers |

RJ

don't read too much into this.
1,478 followers |

The Other Me

These are the thoughts I want to share, but don't want people to know I have. Probably mostly about masturbation or pooping.
1,473 followers |

scott hellrising

Easy credit terms. Free estimates. Void where prohibited.
1,464 followers |

Jeannie B

Artist, Mom of 3, Easily amused (obviously). I follow funny people in the hopes of becoming one when I grow up.
1,461 followers |

Suzanne

Children and old people like me.
1,453 followers |

Jennifer F. Coffee

If I can't make you laugh, then the very least I can do is amuse myself. Other times, I'm dead serious.
1,451 followers |

Minivan

If you kids don't settle down I will turn this van around and go home. (No I won't)
1,431 followers |

Jungle Jym

Web marketing consultant. Bachelor. I'm just here for the shits and giggles. Monkey love baby . . .Monkey love
1,431 followers |

alli

I'm really not a nice person...
1,420 followers |

the_bat

-Verified Checkmark — Poet with pistols. Asserbic wit & a quick draw. Lazy-faire capitalist. Semi-retired theorectal fizzycyst, arkeeologist, and fotograffer.
1,418 followers |

Amy Rangel

Photoshop enthusiast, jewelry designer and wannabe writer and sometimes I'm funny. http://www.formspring.me/AMHRangel
1,418 followers |

Duey Oxberger

A fantastical collection of NSFW verbiage, maybe the occasional coherent thought (no guarantee) and someone told me there's free beer here.
1,414 followers |

D. Parker

Just sittin' in the bushes, reading your tweets. Hoping to be allowed back in the house one day.
1,411 followers |

Badass_Bunny

The most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on. Or something like that.
1,391 followers |

Hellbound Heathen

Thou shalt not speak satirically!
1,381 followers |

Brook Bristow

I like football, craft beer, steak, potatoes, 1st Amendment jurisprudence, Gamecocks & Dolphins, and the use of serial commas. I dislike most other things.
1,380 followers |

Hunter Ashton

I'm rad.
1,361 followers |

Walt Kowalski ☜

before I die I'm having sex....I'm fuckin serious about this.
1,359 followers |

@sarcazm2

My tweets will be here, all weak.
1,358 followers |

Kimberly Gibbler

This one line bio offers a 160 character limit, 20 more than the designated tweet capacity. 20 more characters may improve a movie plot but not my bio.
1,344 followers |

Patrick Saleeby

It takes practice to be this didactic.
1,336 followers |

Gul Leo

I have a huge ego, pay attention 2 me. http://gulleo.tumblr.com/ Chicago, USA http://favstar.fm/users/GulMakLeo
1,335 followers |

ChanceEdwards

Just a goofy guy with a little time on my hands. Why not send out funny tweets!!
1,324 followers |

Ms Prissy Pance

Yeah, I'm a mom. But I'm not YOUR mom... so there's that. (Formerly MissPrissUSA)
1,323 followers |

DadsUpLate

Birth something something something present day.
1,322 followers |

HASDays

Overtweeter who will talk to almost anyone. Tweeting for the fun of it. Almost everything I tweet isn't to be taken seriously, or to heart :)
1,317 followers |

Geoffrey Little

Master of karate and friendship for everyone.
1,313 followers |

mike

just want to play.....With myself, wanna play?!
1,290 followers |

Cosmo

waiting for something to happen.
1,289 followers |

WhatAMess

You can stay only if I'm not what you're looking for and I guarantee you I'm not. And I RT. A LOT. Oh, and I'm not funny.
1,288 followers |

Worldwide Westy

1,286 followers |

Magnus

May impair your ability to operate machinery. If you believe that my tweets reflects my real life, you're prolly an idiot.
1,278 followers |

Unstatusfactory

I am weird. You are weird. Everybody is weird. I have Aspergers Syndrome, and I suck at explaining what it is. It basically means that people think I am weird.
1,268 followers |

Rick

Lover of hockey, classic rock & 'real metal.' (not that death screaming crap) Rebel. Twitter black sheep. Favstar outcast. http://favstar.fm/users/Capsaholic
1,266 followers |

Dave

Livid David a loca
1,266 followers |

Bob Friend

Amateur alcoholic. Wanna be comedian. Unwilling IT drone. Father to two smart asses.
1,256 followers |

Stoke

Just waitin' for the meds to kick in....
1,253 followers |

Desperate Loser

Not only am I the president of LAG (Loser Advocacy Group) I'm a member... the only member, but whatever. I'm here for you. Not really, don't call me.
1,250 followers |

Ken B

I'm an effing ray of sunshine.
1,247 followers |

iThumb

Whatever
1,209 followers |

Candy Pantz

I'm the laser of two evils.
1,208 followers |

aken yeho

I am a free thinking neo-communist ☼. I'm also full-time journalist and part-time beer taster and head banger. And Vodka lover & weed smoker!
1,202 followers |

Lola

Don't make me wipe snot on this ABBA record.
1,200 followers |

Dusty

I'm tired of the same old crap. just want to MONKEY around on the internet! Laughter is my music. It warms my soul.
1,183 followers |

MaximusXXX™®

* Janis Joplin is my Idol. Whatever!
1,181 followers |

Paolo Benassi

Keratoconus sufferer. Mad as a brick wall, will follow if your real :-)
1,173 followers |

Percolator FISH Duh

Eater of ham, rouser of rabble, personifier of sofa, Doctor of Who, teller of lies. I'm probably your biological mother.
1,170 followers |

gordon

Builder @ Lake Oconee- tweeting is fun for me - judge if you must! http://favstar.fm/users/LakeOconeeBldr/recent
1,168 followers |

paul shinn

lover of code, sweets, and wanderlust. wields oven mitts and keyboard shortcuts. perpetual cavalcade of randomness. coconut.
1,161 followers |

Sam-antics

Changing the Bio: Still trying to keep it entertaining. Love you all to read and follow BUT if you are sensitive maybe don't bother reading, just in case. :)
1,152 followers |

Scott

The usual stuff goes here. I mean that sincerely.
1,144 followers |

the dude

they peed on my f████ rug!
1,114 followers |

Comebackrick

Only the sarcastic survive.
1,113 followers |

Nico

I used to be a nice Catholic school girl, and things were good. And then I discovered sex, drugs, and the internet. And things got better.
1,102 followers |

Scooter-B

Left-leaning parody account for bashing universal idiots, mindless political sheep, creepy celebrities, and the media spinners. 18+ please. Still with me?
1,101 followers |

Arely Anelly

Beware of a pretty smile a barbed tongue may hide behind...not me I'm sweet! No profanity out this mouth, only behind closed doors! I abuse exclamation points!!
1,092 followers |

Jenn

eharmony reject, interpretive dancer & typo queen
1,088 followers |

Just Sum Dood

A sleek number, handles the curves well and gets great mileage!
1,083 followers |

Mack E. Avelli

Figure it out.
1,079 followers |

lupe

made of 70 percent post-consumer waste
1,076 followers |

renee

Disorganized, conflicted, fundamentally ambivalent, angst ridden, distracted and sometimes overwhelmed but with a 12 year old boy's sense of humor, ER nurse.
1,075 followers |

Reba723

Boomer female. Liberal. Frequent U of Memphis graduate.
1,057 followers |

Alex

Still not getting my facts right on the internets.
1,055 followers |

dark draggon

NSFW 18+ ONLY. In a world full of chaos, rednecks and porn there was bacon, and it was good!
1,054 followers |

Queen of Everything

belle of the brothel
1,049 followers |

Whiskey Dad

Father, husband, drinker, music lover, corporate slave, professional cynic, big in Europe, born to cuss.
1,041 followers |

Charles D.

The missing Link. Ego canis malus.
1,040 followers |

jcgreen

1,019 followers |

snyd

I need chocolate or I need a man... but I need one of them every day at three o'clock.
1,012 followers |

Defeated Diva

My grandma is in a knitting gang. I'm a hustla and photographer on my time off, I Tweet complete bull shit and I'm not that crazy about me either. Welcome
1,009 followers |

Miss Ma'am

The song isn't about you.
1,005 followers |

Nun_Ya

If you understand sarcasm? Climb aboard. Otherwise, fuck off!
1,000 followers |

Teen LaQuifa

Vigorously inconsequential!
971 followers |

Camille

LA voyeur/ginger/queen of velour sweats, leggings (not jeggings) & shades
968 followers |

Michael

I've been to a lot of places, I've done a lot of things, I can't predict what will happen next, but I can still find my way home.
967 followers |

coked_up_jesus

Quite the lame ass, but lovable nonetheless. I keep my expectations low and I try to be modest. Keeps life easy.
965 followers |

ShilohTheMagicPony

I'm a band & news anchor stalker, fast talker, dog walker, Captain Kirk & Mr. Spock-er. Pony to the stars, awaiting Stefan to profess his pony love...
957 followers |

i_druther

One mans junk is another woman's pleasure! Explicit Content: Do not follow if under 18
952 followers |

TypoElite

I never talk to the guy with the bluetooth earpiece, just in case he's still on the line with the president.
952 followers |

mpseudo

931 followers |

Glenn

I can't believe I ate the whole thong.
925 followers |

Joey_bagodonuts

venting my random thoughts and opinions on various subjects, and i like to laugh
910 followers |

some fuckin guy

another douche with a twitter account.
907 followers |

Awesome Chaos

Read the tweets below... That should be enough. I am neurotically chaotic. I enjoy good conversation, mischief and mayhem. Its my thing. Just go with it.
906 followers |

Mike

My past lives: http://favstar.fm/users/sleepndad and http://favstar.fm/users/Capn1Eye Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed.
899 followers |

Russ-hole

Spartacus, bringer of soft cheeses
896 followers |

veronaway2

I spend all my time lurking in the darkness only because I don't have the social skills to make it as a stalker.
856 followers |

Mishy

Top up my wine please .
850 followers |

WillamShatnerface

I use bad language, bad grammar and drink and fuck alot. Screw you. Star Wars rules.
846 followers |

Pam

Housewife gone awry.
837 followers |

Smokey Martling

A psychopathic, blind visionary, and spiritual advisor to the Medellin Cartel.
826 followers |

Shana

After nearly two decades of work I've finally perfected the lost art of talking under one's breath.
824 followers |

Faith Crawford

I could be A, i could be C, multiple choice i don't want to B.... What's wrong with being a nobody, that nobody knows that has nobodies?
822 followers |

B Jones

Nothing to see here. Please move along. Nothing to see here. http://favstar.fm/users/notreallyart
817 followers |

Feral_woman

Remember trying to find yourself in the 60s? Well, now I'm in my 60's and still looking. This just ain't working.
813 followers |

David

Inside the mind of an online alter ego...
811 followers |

Judy Graham

No, Mr. DeMille, I am NOT ready for my close-up.
806 followers |

will write for beer

The views here are solely my own, and do not reflect the views of my employer. Or my wife.
806 followers |

Christine

Free Hugs
786 followers |

Small Chick

Just a quirky girl who is trying to get her funny on.
779 followers |

MicYsa

Licensed Reverse Psychologist
772 followers |

itsDOUCET

wannabe rapper+adhd poster child.
771 followers |

J-SIN

vsbdhkdjdjnndndbnkd
769 followers |

Control_Zed

Me, a name I call myself
759 followers |

peter

I might make you smile :)
755 followers |

Bob Donald

Serial Entreprenuer, Nonconformist, Life Failure
744 followers |

DuckDimples

I'm not a leader, follower, or doormat...I do my own thing and don't really care if it's popular or not.
742 followers |

Jeff W

Medical Student | Photographer | Writer | Blogger | Laker Fan | Technophile
740 followers |

Dick

Prohibited where Void. (formerly MrTwatts)
725 followers |

ambigfoot

An ordinary guy existing in a mediocre world....anyway, shouldn't this be an 'Autobio'?
710 followers |

Else H

Part singlemom. Part inuit. I hope you like your food burnt.
704 followers |

Ball Dragon

It's cool that most of my followers are #DragonBallZ fans, but my name describes what you'd do to your step-brother's pillow. @Balldragon
700 followers |

nabhere

If you are looking for interesting people... GET LOST!!!
688 followers |

Aurora Bubbaloo

Grad Student by Day... professional manatee wrestler by night... http://favstar.fm/users/aurorabubbaloo http://www.youtube.com/user/paullende29
684 followers |

Cristina

I'm a teacher with a husband and two kids. I run. I read. I drink. I sing like a banshee.
677 followers |

madhaiku

I get drunk, I write haiku. ∞
676 followers |

Steve Blackard

Geeky Graphic Designer, Dorky Dad, Happy Husband, Tenacious Tweeter!
661 followers |

The Moon

Don't think I haven't noticed the telescopes.
658 followers |

Metal Drummer Shaun

Beer drinkin' metal drummer who has mastered the art of couch dancing
654 followers |

Jizzprechaun

Stop staring at my ass you are creeping me the Fuck out!
646 followers |

A+

I paint in luminous watercolor. I have read 2 Genghis Khan bios. Why is this cat staring at me your food is RIGHT THERE. Eat it.
626 followers |

StillJustSue

Mostly just a sassy bitch. I don't like most people IRL, they piss me off. I like my virtual friends and love @replies.
612 followers |

Those Guys

We talk about sports and Kenny Loggins. But mostly sports. Even though out along the edge IS always where we burn to be.
604 followers |

Tucksy Plexar

I'm primed, charged, and ready to explode and wallpaper this place in organs.
593 followers |

King C

guy, Torontonian, coffee, classic films, sit-coms, gay, top-40, jazz, musicals, asian, atheist, favstar.
561 followers |

ALMStanding

I was an angry Black Man but then P.E. broke up, I had a daughter and Obama was elected (I almost voted for the old white dude just so I could keep my edge).
560 followers |

teachingyoushit

558 followers |

Bob H.

Grumpy most of the time.
551 followers |

Ducky

I've lost my pond and not sure if I want to find my way back.
544 followers |

Mlle Candy

I'm ready to play now. Warning: I may tweet in a dirty or sappy way about sex and love, although not necessarily in that order.
544 followers |

Giggle Guts

Just make me laugh
533 followers |

Jeff Cooper

Over educated and perpetually immature. Also, a dentist.
527 followers |

The Brat In Charge

I'm an over caffeinated, single mom trapped in a house with teenage demon twins. Living each day by her own set of #BrattyRules. Please send help... and liquor!
519 followers |

Wigwam Jones

Fleeing drunkenly on a moped.
508 followers |

Your Real Name

I am alternatively sincere and irreverant by turns, but I'll always strive to be interesting.
508 followers |

Carey Megan

customer care, cleverness, control freak, character, creation, castoff, color, california, cookies, culture, communication, Christ... clearly comprise a Carey
496 followers |

Travis

Piratical, tornadic and swampbillian.
486 followers |

Calamity Now


464 followers |

Austin Alvarado

contributing nothing to society since 1979
439 followers |

Eric Hahn

Pretty gay. Nice guy but kind of profane. Great kisser. Comedian. Writer. Got my dad's sense of humor. Got my mom's boobs and penchant for eating sweet things.
439 followers |

Darrin

Dad, husband, retired professor. I was diagnosed with a terminal illness (ALS) in 2005 . I’m not sure which airport I caught it at. http://www.projectals.org/
433 followers |

Carlos

425 followers |

noname yet

covered from head to toe in skin
404 followers |

Stephen Fink

Where do I submit my résumé?
396 followers |

Mike Ventimiglia

I create nonsense to compensate for my relatively poor body mass index.
384 followers |

That Lawyer Guy

There's gotta be something better you could be reading. Like a shampoo bottle maybe.
380 followers |

Jay Slaptybak

@ShitThatISays the man behind the mask
374 followers |

Malcolm

Six teenagers have discovered the power to fight the forces of evil. Now the fate of the universe is in their hands.
372 followers |

Paul Alexander

I have revolutionized the pie chart by creating the pizzagram
362 followers |

RustyBritches

Wait- is there going to be a test?
359 followers |

Dale Martenson

350 followers |

Hank Kingsley

Hey Now!
330 followers |

ImmaCracker

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
321 followers |

tim

bullet dodger
320 followers |

Goldfloss

315 followers |

Silly Temperpedic

Clean sheets dirty tweets. Proving it is possible to tweet in a coma.
312 followers |

Kim

I'm a margarita loving, concert going, book reading, kick ass kind of gal who loves the beach, a good laugh, and my family most of the time.
310 followers |

Rick

304 followers |

Philip Kodiak Bear

Ursine actor. Sharing a cave with my angsty cousin, Cavemaster & my ex-gf's cubs from another baby daddy. Currently looking for a new agent.
303 followers |

Deja Gloom

ten thousand quips inside a tiny little mind...
302 followers |

Sarge L.L.C.

Just another alien spying on Earthlings. You're funny.
291 followers |

BC

One spit-take away from getting my ass kicked out of here.
280 followers |

activeguy

I wish I knew how to quit you, Twitter.
277 followers |

Cassie White

270 followers |

Foolish Notion

Saying whatever comes to mind will only get you so far in life, and here I am.
268 followers |

Saltine Cracker

See username
256 followers |

Dr. B

Reborn. Again. & Again
255 followers |

Mr S

Ninja tweeting sarcasm. Health insurance know-it-all.
249 followers |

Garami

sub umbra floreo... Hamlet-like Twitter account looking for friendship, companion, discussion about comics and jazz LPs. Could it make a good bio ?
242 followers |

Adam Arvizu, esq.

Purveyor of fine quality orgasms since 1989
238 followers |

Xose Morais

Writer / Producer / Prominent arachnophobic
238 followers |

Claire

You can find me here 9-5, Monday-Friday.
238 followers |

Joni

I'm not a real bitch. I just play one on Twitter. And at work.
230 followers |

Scott McGrew

Tilted. Slightly.
226 followers |

Paula Jane

I'm snarky and sarcastic, I'm Snarcastic
221 followers |

Porn Snob

Retweet Account for my inner-man-child-thing, @TrainedHedonist
207 followers |

David Wilhite

Sometimes I go read my high school yearbook to see what I'm most likely to do.
179 followers |

Cyber Ninja

In motion, be like water. At rest, like a mirror. Respond, like the echo. Be subtle, as though non-existent.
168 followers |

Blue Blazer Regular

not too witty, but in favor of it
168 followers |

MissAwesomePants

Be warned. I am crude, rude, outrageous, sassy, and pretty awesome as well. Follow and you wont be disappointed.
167 followers |

Eric G

Temporary member of Humanity™
158 followers |

Greg Showell

Trust me! I'm a nurse!
158 followers |

T Wicked

Writer, Director, Superhero, Animal Psychologist, Maker of Toast, Nudist, Flirt, Double Dutch Champion, Lost Little Boy.
156 followers |

Mark Hoggan™

Look Both Ways Before You Cross The Tweet
155 followers |

my.deep.blue.sky

Pretending i don't feel misplaced. (overtweeter, underachiever.) if you don't expect too much from me you might not be let down. 3
155 followers |

Michael 

153 followers |

Old Man

How quickly they forget
145 followers |

Bryan

Say hi. I won't bite.
141 followers |

J. Beaver

My likes: singing, wood, damming things, hair products, ProActiv, Sheeple. My Dislikes: TMZ, Paparazi, faux wood, WalMart clothing.
141 followers |

MidgyMaeBoylan

I vent my anger at the stupids via twitter- also i like bacon+jam sammies, gravy, pepsi and the weekend i dislike Tuesdays and basketball.
135 followers |

Smokey

one more should do it!
133 followers |

Moby_Dix

I'm here to make fun. Fun of religion, fun of love, fun of sex, fun of myself, fun of anything. Can you feel me tickling your soft spot, can you?
133 followers |

Roberta Wacko

loves wrestling in the mud, jello, baby swimming pool, on the rubber gym mat, and in bed, whatever!
106 followers |

Asante Loves Santa

Fluent in kicking ass!!!
98 followers |

mr happy

if you can read this you may be following too close.
96 followers |

Mokey

I'm a gentleman, a scholar and an acrobat. The Pink Panther was a punk.
92 followers |

Zelddah

- I have lived. So should you.
80 followers |

Nice try stalker.

Observationist. Hilarian. Douchenozzle. I've seen it all and done it all. I will love you like you've never been loved. Would you like that? Yeah.
76 followers |

GringoQuixote

Innocent critter, squashed on the highway of life.
64 followers |

Uncle Chance

Thoroughly examining the dynamics of your matrix
60 followers |

Acolyte

The Dark Tweets
53 followers |

Madison McKenna

I'm Madison , I'm 23 and i want you to follow my ass on twitter K?
34 followers |

Inmate 67521

It's just too fucked up to revisit.
31 followers |

A. H.

27 followers |

Curated by Southern Insomniac
Submitted by Derek_Haines

501
people
31
followers
0
recs

Recommend someone for this list

Who:
Why:
59 characters left