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Wil Wheaton

I'm just this guy, you know?
2,009,093 followers |

Heather B. Armstrong

Mommyblogger, tyrant, snugglebunny
1,554,244 followers |

Chris Sacca

Dreamily married to @crystale, dad to @CCEleven, investor in @Twitter, @Uber, @Instagram, @Turntablefm & other startups. Learn more: http://lowercasellc.com/.
1,339,609 followers |

Jason Sweeney

limited edition, macaroni and glitter on construction paper.
1,145,604 followers |

Michele Catalano

I write about hockey (and other sports) here: http://americanmccarver.com Long Island. Freelance writer looking for work.
938,445 followers |

hodgman

All you need to know about wine, wealth, sports, and the end of the world.
718,261 followers |

Adam Savage

I play a scientist on TV. Obsessive maker of things. Host of Mythbusters on the Discovery Channel.
676,556 followers |

Tim Siedell

Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
589,770 followers |

NowReport

Follow breaking news as it happens.
373,837 followers |

Fake AP Stylebook

Style tips for proper writing. contact: fakeapstylebook at gmail dot com. No submissions, please. All material copyright The Bureau Chiefs, LLC.
287,443 followers |

Jeffrey Zeldman

Author, Designing With Web Standards. Founder, Happy Cog™ design studios, A List Apart. Co-founder, An Event Apart, The Big Web Show. Publisher, A Book Apart.
274,830 followers |

Matthew Inman

Truth, beauty, and unkempt chest hair.
270,118 followers |

Merlin Mann

I'm the best 17-year-old ever.
213,941 followers |

John Gruber

Raconteur.
202,260 followers |

Jason Kottke

Responsible for kottke.org and stellar.io. Irresponsible about everything else.
150,788 followers |

Jelisa Castrodale

Writer for NBCSports.com, one-time Jeopardy! winner, over-caffeinated marathoner. I smell like pears.
64,667 followers |

Favstar.fm

Tip: Tell your friends to log in to Favstar once and their Favs and RTs will be collected instantly.
60,250 followers |

Cabel Maxfield Sasser

A businessmanish co-founder of Panic. Dilettante, raconteur, sommelier. Husband, father, full time mother. More like hoobaSTUNK am I right guys
51,079 followers |

Dan Cederholm

Designer, author & speaker at SimpleBits. Co-Founder of Dribbble. Likes ampersands & banjos.
48,730 followers |

Joshua Allen

cockblocking beats
43,547 followers |

Lucky Shirt

Creator, writer, director, and producer of descriptions of myself.
37,328 followers |

dustin curtis

Villain.
35,658 followers |

Adam Lisagor

Proprietor of sandwichvideo.com, youlooknicetoday.com, and adamlisagor.com. So many websites!
34,544 followers |

matt

twitter user
34,333 followers |

MJ

I'm in a band with my dog. He barks while I eat Cheetos. It's indie, you wouldn't get it. and I'm married.
29,164 followers |

Niki

I'm super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape.
28,992 followers |

Lee Clow's Beard

Musings on advertising and facial topiary. Usually daily. Often dandruff-free.
27,773 followers |

rands

in repose
25,407 followers |

Jim Coudal

Unable to focus. OK with that.
21,411 followers |

Remy Sharp

I invented sleep patterns. Honest. They're even named after me.
21,071 followers |

Stephanie

I was born with a tail! If I had been born in India, I would have been worshiped, instead of having it cut off and scorned as a genetic freak. J/K
18,109 followers |

Jane

I'm sorry if I offend you. For those that I don't, I will try a little harder.
17,693 followers |

Jon Armstrong

Blogger. Photographer. Formerly awesome. Liberal. I am not associated with blurb.com. You'll want @blurbbooks for that.
16,901 followers |

ruthakers

I had kids. So you didn't have to.
15,662 followers |

Rex Huppke

A guy who writes stuff for money. Huge fan of hypocrisy. Also available on http://www.witstream.com.
14,511 followers |

Thomas Dolby

Blinded by science. Synth enthusiast. TED Music Director. Floating City habitué. Bringing the Time Capsule Tour to the US this spring.
13,233 followers |

lafix

Well groomed anarchist.
13,007 followers |

The Bosha

Get off my lawn.
10,857 followers |

Aimee B

I'm a ray of sunshine... causing cancer and starting fires.
10,796 followers |

April Richardson

I should've started R.A.P.E. — Rappers Against Phony Entertainers. http://aprilrichardson.com
10,452 followers |

Adam Isacson

I work at the Washington Office on Latin America (my views here, not theirs). Work-related stuff at @adam_wola.
9,955 followers |

Susan

Welcome to my period tracker! Visit me on WitStream - http://www.witstream.com/#susan_grober
9,482 followers |

Josh Hopkins

father. husband. programmer. web designer. artist. geek. thinker. doer. founder of 40horse.com.
9,434 followers |

DrewCurtis

The guy who runs Fark.com, the most popular comedy news website in the world
9,296 followers |

Avery Edison

Writer and comedian. No relation to the lightbulb guy. Used to be really good at math. a@averyedison.com
9,291 followers |

Robert the Brave

I'm not a comedian or a writer and I don't play one on Twitter. http://favstar.fm/users/NowAPisces http://beeftongue.tumblr.com/post/235380403/us
9,093 followers |

Theresa

I collect graduate degrees and complain about things.
8,492 followers |

iamnotdiddy™

Aspiring daddy blogger.
8,130 followers |

Moltz

Sorry if I'm just too real for you. Sorry.
7,816 followers |

Ian Stewart

I lead the WordPress.com Theme Team for the ever-awesome Automattic. I'm probably thinking about WordPress themes right this very minute.
7,636 followers |

Doctor Zaius

Just another misanthropic orangutan from the future forced to twitter by court order to learn how 'intelligent' and 'evolved' humans are
7,380 followers |

Joe Schmitt

the second T is silent
7,308 followers |

Drew McLellan

Retweeted by white men.
6,884 followers |

The Night Stalker

Writer, actor, cotton candy vendor, night stalker and killer tomato.
6,765 followers |

ms. diagnosed

Mother, daughter, carnivore, social drunk, shit talker, flirt and procrastinator du jour
6,370 followers |

blondediva11

I enjoy breathing.
6,114 followers |

Matthew Dolkart

Writer and performer of turtle jokes. See also @thefakecnn
5,802 followers |

Miss_Cook

If I fit my entire life bio into one line, I'm never gonna get that book deal. Boobies.
5,720 followers |

Stephanie

Hey, turtleface. Want a peanut? sprattacus [at] gmail
5,661 followers |

Bort Flancrest

Not as good as I used to be.
5,547 followers |

Adrian Woodworth

Throwing semi-colons around; like a maverick.
5,354 followers |

Liz T. Goddess

Corporate Middle Manager by day. Domestic Goddess by night. I tweet a lot!
5,105 followers |

Soap Box Liberal

Don't believe everything you read.
5,006 followers |

Dean Cameron Allen

Hooray chums!
4,994 followers |

Quinn Katherman

Writer. Multi-Tasking Phenomenon. Hot Mess. Ninja Unicorn. http://www.witstream.com/#quinn_katherman
4,901 followers |

Tim Haines

Favstar.fm founder, geek.
4,826 followers |

nice dream

i am a terrible storyteller.
4,767 followers |

duty

certified bullshit technician. psssst...these are jokes, dummies.
4,751 followers |

Clint Ecker

I work for the Obama 2012 re-election campaign. I am Honeybadgerish and you ain’t messin’ with my dougie. None of my opinions are my own.
4,701 followers |

Nibbles Spalanzani

The monk said: Why not kill yourself? The Master said: No place to start.
4,669 followers |

Ryan

Just a guy. I make @Papermill. But enough about me.
4,636 followers |

Ticklish Junk

The original angry bird.
4,451 followers |

Jason Permenter

Designer at @muledesign. Host of America's favorite podcast: Hour of Pour. Married to @rascouet, who is hot.
4,375 followers |

Nick Alias Plemur

Cerebrity. plaidlemur[at]gmail.com
4,279 followers |

Jess

Retired dancer, aspiring author, new mom, all-around fucking badass. I make mischiefs and shenanigans (and babies!) with @GorillaSushi.
4,183 followers |

Blake Patterson

I am Co-Founder and Editor of TouchArcade.com, a lifelong gamer, and retro computing enthusiast. ByteCellar.com is where I talk about the last.
4,176 followers |

best girl betty

sour cream and onion glitter
4,167 followers |

Chris Velazquez

Screenwriter. Los Angeles. Ever heard of Lawrence Of Arabia? That wasn't me. Also the commissioner of retrobaseball.tumblr.com
4,147 followers |

Ainsley Drew

not so good at fads
4,135 followers |

Chris Pinckney

Sorry about that last tweet.
4,099 followers |

Katie Rose

People who engage in clever wordplay are a pungus on our society. I am a 22-year-old Frosted Mini-Wheats enthusiast.
4,031 followers |

notorious d.e.b.

Just another cute and sexy genius.
4,029 followers |

Greg Knauss

I blogged before rafeco.
3,909 followers |

Dan Wineman

iOS/Mac developer, and stuff.
3,649 followers |

Jane

She's come undone.
3,639 followers |

Justine Kilkerr

Your favourite shepherdess in wolf's clothing.
3,613 followers |

Tiffany

Misunderstood Southern belle.
3,605 followers |

Lisa

I like staring out windows and things.
3,601 followers |

Alex

You think you saw me licking the salt out of the inside of a bag of potato chips? Okay, that might have been me
3,586 followers |

Tiny Jesus

Father, Son, Holy Shit
3,459 followers |

Samurai Hey

Say what again.
3,399 followers |

Miss Creant

I am a symphony of contradictions.
3,389 followers |

Peter

If you believe any of this you're probably in the wrong Facebook.
3,385 followers |

Luke in hellondon

Making orphans and single mothers feel better about their predicament for over 10 years.
3,360 followers |

insooutso

Dicen que soy aburrido...
3,340 followers |

poop finger

attn: midgets, religious folk, fatties, other weird fuckers & cops: i say mean things. there's yer disclaimer. fuckititude aplenty.
3,194 followers |

Pantse Macabre

I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs, blown up for Racquel Welch.
3,142 followers |

Essex Mortimer Dogg

Father. Husband. Author of The Groom's Instruction Manual. Web nerd. Professional sarcasticater.
3,013 followers |

stretta

Music. Design. Tea snob.
3,006 followers |

Maria

I like wasabi, patronize bunny rabbits and think red wine needs to stop pretending it's not purple. // Also, @ImAVeronica.
2,977 followers |

Jen Oslislo

Some commie lesbo.
2,962 followers |

kellydeal

No. Sorry. I'm not kellEy deal. Not a Breeder at all. No kids. No band. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW.
2,935 followers |

Arch Stanton

Your Best Nightmare
2,930 followers |

angela black

I have freckles. I use them to write words and make magic for the fine folks @carbonmade.
2,894 followers |

Maria

Messy glory.
2,885 followers |

I am not telling

wordy thought string maker
2,693 followers |

David Leibowitz

Trying to decide on a bio. Right now, I'm partial to Abraham Lincoln's.
2,659 followers |

Girl11

Professional Wanderer. Part-time SuperHero Part-time SuperZero. Writer. Lover of mustard.
2,579 followers |

ChiNurse

Dullard with a childlike sense of wonder.
2,570 followers |

Steve

Written by Lincoln on the back of an envelope.
2,555 followers |

califmom

Widow at 40—thanks cancer, way to be a pal! Parent to one neurotypical kid and one Aspie. Not looking for a cure. California native in love with a Jersey boy.
2,503 followers |

Jane Doe

2,321 followers |

Nathan Edwards

The man ain't got no culture.
2,321 followers |

Eric Hoss

No one approves of his beard.
2,237 followers |

Rowan Pettett

I thought I was marching to the beat of a different drum, but apparently it was just the guy next door having a gunfight with the cops.
2,191 followers |

Chris

produced in a factory containing traces of nuts.
1,963 followers |

mikemorrow

Don't take any of this seriously. Opinions expressed do not necessarily represent those of management. Tell it to the judge. Be careful out there.
1,899 followers |

Josh S

http://favstar.fm/users/jorshuwah
1,864 followers |

frageelay

Brash, tweedy impertinence
1,857 followers |

Bunk Bedfellow

purveyor of used books and poppycock.
1,855 followers |

Nicole

You're a lot funnier than you think I am.
1,831 followers |

THE @Kathy_L

About myself? Yes, I am all about myself.
1,755 followers |

obxlaw

the curmudgeon at law. Also, get off my lawn. Taxes, tags and title excluded. Your mileage may vary.
1,712 followers |

Confounded brunette

No, I'm the good crazy.
1,681 followers |

Frieda Club

No kidding, your mother must be a very interesting person.
1,654 followers |

Maggie Steciuk

Not quite the geek she hoped to become, but there's time still.
1,637 followers |

Morgan

Please to put back in tomb.
1,565 followers |

Darrin Blankenship

Live from the Champagne Room.
1,545 followers |

Mrs Joshua Homme

South African living in the UK, but looking for my own island. I love rock music. And cake. And whisky. And vodka. And Nutella.
1,525 followers |

Jeannie B

Artist, Mom of 3, Easily amused (obviously). I follow funny people in the hopes of becoming one when I grow up.
1,463 followers |

Indé Fjölnir

And now i'll close my eyes really, really tight and make you all go away.
1,462 followers |

Becca Piano

Piano-player, dance accompanist, purveyor of nonsense, song parodist, Mad Haikuer, destroyer of words
1,459 followers |

Mischieveous

Mum:explorer:general sasspants. Email Lilykily{at}gmail{dot}com
1,451 followers |

Simon Tarr

I make things, then write and talk about them. I am aware that this is probably a scam.
1,401 followers |

Non Sequiturific

1,376 followers |

Girl Sans Pants

antichrist with a slit
1,363 followers |

Don Henry

Shiftless and shifty beady-eyed ugly toad of a man. Inventor. Pork chop absconder. Rum runner. Train wreck watcher.
1,318 followers |

Chris Aucutt

Not really listening.
1,227 followers |

fluffy little clouds

I'm like a superhero, but without any special abilities or any real motivation to save the world.
1,220 followers |

androo carey

I came, I saw, I conch-herd.
1,220 followers |

Lindsay

And boobs too.
1,199 followers |

Moe

The hero twitter deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian.
1,148 followers |

Ian Wright

Punk Rock kid all growed up.
1,092 followers |

Karyn J

I'm crazy, and I don't pretend to be anything else.- CKlein
1,092 followers |

some bitch

Suck it.
1,052 followers |

Tymethief

Moving through Entropy... while testing software remotely for a company in East Tucson. http://ramblingsofanoftenabsentmind.blogspot.com/
1,017 followers |

Dolanite

Not That Good... Not That Bad Either.
1,012 followers |

Petherwin

We are disconnected beings floundering in a void, like crabs sinking in bottomless custard.
1,007 followers |

Angry Old Coot

Just a shotgun and a rocking chair between me and the hoosgow.
1,001 followers |

Little Tiger

All fluffy and catty. Just what you need.
961 followers |

Jayne Dough

I've got milk squirting out of my tits, babies falling out of my vagina and kids wiping their noses on me. It's a charmed life.
941 followers |

Lori

Living on the edge without watching my step or wearing sensible shoes.
822 followers |

Kathleen

Mischievous curmudgeon.
753 followers |

Jennifer Sisson

web developer and amnesiphobic in Chicago, IL
740 followers |

Austin Harris

I possess a certain je ne say what?
707 followers |

Amy

Red-head, chronically tired. Oh, and I enjoy cupcakes.
704 followers |

reverendross

Some guy.
697 followers |

Mark Danielson

The butterfly of happiness flew by my window today. I waved and waved.
689 followers |

Nicole Campbell

Singer/Songwriter. Mother of 6 yo Princess Ballerina Superstar. Gardener. Compulsively humorous. Nearly reformed Favstar Ho-bag.
673 followers |

Fiore Delicato

Nice girl trapped in sarcastic woman's body. Mother of grown male lovechild. Writer of limericks. Soulmate of Too Cool. User of fancy words.
660 followers |

Blainey Ocean

I am not Eddie Money. Or am I?
648 followers |

Susanne

I used to wish for sanity but then I realized the boredom would drive me nuts.
629 followers |

R.G. Daniel

I have many interests, but for Twitter purposes my focus will usually be woodworking and/or general wise-cracking.
599 followers |

Arm_and Ja_La

Name: Ja_La, Eyes: 2, Hair Color: Flesh, Weight: Metric, Height: Your Mom, Blood Pressure: High, Status: Tweeting
584 followers |

Standardized Crazy

Bassoonist, myopic, obsessive-compulsive, sometime greasemonkey and general snarky bitch.
480 followers |

Tori Katherman

Studio Manager for the wonderful commercial photographers of 8183 Studio.
452 followers |

Edwina

It's Pho, as in duh, as in Pho'k You.
417 followers |

Chloe Weathersby

MC Darthcool
408 followers |

T

You think it's chocolate milk but it's watered down yoo-hoo
353 followers |

Lia

Just smart enough to comprehend how profoundly stupid I can be
341 followers |

Claudia

I have no idea what I'm doing. And unfortunately I'm getting too old to keep using this as an excuse.
288 followers |

Blonde Liz

Secondary account of @BlondHousewife. Used for @ messages. DO NOT STAR ANYTHING HERE!
267 followers |

Lucky Angel

I'm 32 flavors & then some.
211 followers |

E

190 followers |

oati

Glamour Mule
183 followers |

Lauren H.

The musings of a ladyface.
182 followers |

Gone Underground

Enjoying anonymity like a good buzz.
167 followers |

Sonny Johl

If I was in World War 2 they'd call me Spitfire!
158 followers |

Nunyo Bizness

Ego and Super-ego? Fuck those guys, man. They're pussies.
130 followers |

Hemi Hurst Harley

121 followers |

Insouciant Geek

My only hope on here is that people will look up the word 'insouciant' and learn something.
73 followers |

Curated by C. T.
Submitted by carrmah

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