My Favstar.fm List

Justin

Author of Shit My Dad Says and, coming May 15th, my new book I Suck At Girls. My dad's in it, don't worry. This account is where I publish the shit that he says
3,050,744 followers |

Peter Serafinowicz

Male actress and comedienne. All content © Peter Serafinowicz.
629,647 followers |

Jason Kottke

Responsible for kottke.org and stellar.io. Irresponsible about everything else.
150,754 followers |

Arjun Basu

Author, writer, editor, Shorty Award winner (though I'm not that short), foodie, husband, dad. Creating Twisters, 140-character short stories.
148,289 followers |

Meeting Boy

I hate my job.
130,095 followers |

Jonathan Coulton

musician/internet superstar
84,314 followers |

Favstar.fm

Tip: Tell your friends to log in to Favstar once and their Favs and RTs will be collected instantly.
60,234 followers |

Bif Naked

International Recording Artist, Speaker, Lecturer, Advocate, Activist, Straight-Edger, Vegan, and TroubleMaker.
57,362 followers |

Disalmanac

The Disalmanac Book of Fact-Like Facts comes out in 2013 from Perigee/Penguin. Disalmanac@gmail.com (no submissions). Disalmanac is @batemanimation.
50,492 followers |

Jocelyn Plums

Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! http://FilthyRichmond.com
40,063 followers |

Lucky Shirt

Creator, writer, director, and producer of descriptions of myself.
37,328 followers |

Jamie Capria

The average person laughs 15 times a day... that's not nearly enough. http://favstar.fm/users/MrFornicator http://www.facebook.com/JamieCapria
36,523 followers |

              

Harv Griffin – Extrusion Troubleshooter – You probably know someone who writes novels in their spare time, never getting any interest. I’m that guy.
30,123 followers |

Niki

I'm super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape.
28,992 followers |

Clarke Kant

I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on Witstream.com!
28,001 followers |

rodney

I'm awesome and sometimes I lie.
26,981 followers |

Jack Mackenroth

Delusional, over-exposed G-lister. NSFAnyone. Generally horrid. I just slept with your dad and it was gross.
25,735 followers |

rands

in repose
25,407 followers |

Ashley Long

My boomerang never does what it's suppose to do.
25,132 followers |

Miss Fuckalicious

Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot.
24,771 followers |

Verifried Drunk™®©

The later the tweet, the drunker I am.
23,589 followers |

Stephanie

Once used the word dildo in a job interview. And got the job.
21,797 followers |

CJ Werleman

Author of 'God Hates You. Hate him Back' (Available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/God-Hates-Hate-Back-ebook/dp/B0037Z70H6/ )
21,737 followers |

CrankyPappy

Old, hungry, homeless, tired, stairwell-dwelling drunk. I have the aroma of pipe tobacco & despair. My 1 wish: wake up tomorrow. Tweets of a Dirty Old Man.
20,584 followers |

Ian Crawford

20,414 followers |

JP the Janitor

Founder of Uncle's Day, 1st Wed. in January. Presidential candidate. Nominee, CNN Heroes Award. The Janitor formerly knows as Hadd.
19,836 followers |

Shari Vanderwerf

Stand-up comedian/writer. My husband complains that I over share on Twitter. Clearly, his hemorrhoids are just making him cranky.
19,749 followers |

E=mc²

Comedian, Writer, Rocket Scientist.
19,740 followers |

Tricia

Jazz hands for life while still keeping it gangsta. http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/EI06GB6VAIQH/ref=cm_sw_em_r_ws_UtXMpb1BGP1T7_wb
19,497 followers |

Mae

LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com
17,628 followers |

Pax Paxochka

Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate
16,753 followers |

Hormonella, damn it!

My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill.
15,999 followers |

Rob Fee

Get my #1 Comedy Album 'Grape Stomp' on iTunes RIGHT NOW. www.witstream.com
15,929 followers |

Uncle Dynamite

My Cole Haan rapper name is Milkshake Suede.
15,425 followers |

Aspersioncast

It's always a pleasure to meet someone with no sense of humour, then when I fuck with their head, it's unbelievably satisfying.
13,428 followers |

Shane

Twitter should be an escape, not a destination.
13,040 followers |

SlappNuttz

I'm the guy that your Mom and Dad approved of, but you still wanted to fuck.
12,632 followers |

Katrina Whipp

That's me in the corner. I kiss like a fish, but never cry like a lover.
11,920 followers |

Mark Campbell

Writer for hire. I tweet, so you don't have to. In fact, I tweet a lot. It's okay. I love you. But not as much as freezies. No siree. Now, boogie!
11,903 followers |

Ella or Denise

As soon as my husband starts his car I jump back in bed. I once drank a 12 pack of Stellartois at a baby shower.
11,842 followers |

Ty

[Nor(mal]ice)
11,821 followers |

Brendan Jaharis

An aspiring writer with dreams of one day being Carrot Top famous..
11,477 followers |

Monica

If you can't play the blues you may as well hang it up...
11,454 followers |

Friedrich Nietzsche

Will to power less.
11,409 followers |

Beerhaze

I enjoy moccasins, beer, beaches in November, people with interesting skin disorders, beer and beer.
11,218 followers |

the_moonface

There should be a cleverly written paragraph about how unique and special I am written here.
11,057 followers |

Adam Juskewitch

Every night I steal the little gnome figurine from my neighbor's yard and replace it with a gnome that's identical but one inch taller.
10,728 followers |

Brian

I like your carpet. Is that shag? http://bdgarp.tumblr.com/
10,679 followers |

Emily Donahue

when i dip you dip we dip
10,539 followers |

JerryThomas

Nicer than a junk yard dog.
10,424 followers |

RoughDiction

I'm pretty exited about you reading this.
10,046 followers |

ThisBitchRightHere

Ladies, dont go after ugly rich men. Make your own money so you can fuck hot, poor guys.
9,784 followers |

H0TMessBarbie™®

Feel lucky punk?Sweets you couldnt ignore me if you tried. Musician, martial arts,timepiece janitor,Viking tamer, #starwars, @rovingvagabond's AntiPrincess
9,690 followers |

Lifey

Just a college drop out, working the office life. Don't get all haughty though, I've seen you screw up your/you're like a dozen times.
9,603 followers |

Tammy

9,598 followers |

Space Slug

I'm beginning to question my view of myself as a people person.
9,579 followers |

Mongrel Heart

Rock 'n' Roll Queen. CEO of my vagina. Instigator. John Candy's love child. One half of Fingerbang Radio with Adie and Shaan.
9,571 followers |

Aimee Giese

Things I like: @bugfrog, our kid, design, music, travel, photography & working @giesemedia. I have 68 characters left, but really - that about sums it up.
9,514 followers |

Susan

Welcome to my period tracker! Visit me on WitStream - http://www.witstream.com/#susan_grober
9,482 followers |

Sly

Straightjackets required. No corners allowed. Love bouncing!
9,474 followers |

Vasculitis Vixen

I hate cats. - Curiosity/ Vasculitis Awareness Advocate & on http://favstar.fm/ FOR MY SAFETY, I CAN'T FOLLOW BACK IF YOU CURRENTLY FOLLOW THE HACKER, @BIOLOAD
9,441 followers |

Josh Hopkins

father. husband. programmer. web designer. artist. geek. thinker. doer. founder of 40horse.com.
9,434 followers |

Robert the Brave

I'm not a comedian or a writer and I don't play one on Twitter. http://favstar.fm/users/NowAPisces http://beeftongue.tumblr.com/post/235380403/us
9,093 followers |

tackie_jackie

Took a weird-ass turn and ended up here.
8,948 followers |

matt tice

lets make a pillow fort to fuck in
8,934 followers |

Giselle

GET IN THE VAN.
8,659 followers |

ShoutingGoddess

Don't read this shit, go read a book.
8,602 followers |

Fancy in Wonderland.

You'd need an elevator to get up to my level of crazy. Instagram: JessicaFancy
8,502 followers |

JD Crowe

A cartoonist should be obscene and not heard. http://www.facebook.com/CroweToons You can also follow me at @crowetoons
8,496 followers |

Aaron

seal & yacht clubber
8,394 followers |

Mike Schism

People think i'm self centered, they are so wrong i am more like off centered. (don't follow if you're easily offended)
8,365 followers |

Stacy

This is my bile and where I practice the art of typos. http://favstar.fm/users/Stexcy
8,130 followers |

Laughing Lesbian

Most days I am so fucking awesome, the roses stop and smell me.
8,108 followers |

Sean Gabay

Not Patrick Duffy.
8,108 followers |

Jeffrey Brian

Not everything has to be funny
7,992 followers |

Jason

It takes police too long to respond to 911 calls. If I get robbed I'm ordering Chinese food and asking them to bring a gun.
7,970 followers |

nicole.

I need a job. and a life.
7,865 followers |

Jonathan Sloan

The size of my fist is directly proportional to the object it's holding.
7,860 followers |

Ben Brooks

Comic, musician, writer, father & student. I write jokes and non-jokes. If that scares you, don't follow. http://www.witstream.com.
7,688 followers |

Asian Mike

I wrote a new ending for my autobiography. This time, I live.
7,681 followers |

Candy Crisis

I do a really good impersonation of a Fugu fish crashing against a window at high speed.
7,495 followers |

Doctor Zaius

Just another misanthropic orangutan from the future forced to twitter by court order to learn how 'intelligent' and 'evolved' humans are
7,380 followers |

Joe Schmitt

the second T is silent
7,308 followers |

Annie Troy

Yes, I am okay. Really.
7,179 followers |

Theodora Chester

Lapsed writer, collecting distractions
7,165 followers |

Rainbow Brite

I'm gonna go to Detroit and high-five RoboCop SOOOOOOO fuckin' much. Be careful, you're about to fall in love. (Also, I have @Harbingerr on speed-dial.)
7,143 followers |

Bridge

Im a whack job really ... consider yourself warned =p
7,129 followers |

Angela Helga

I'm an organ donor, but I'm pretty sure all they're going to use is my liver for *after* photos.
7,038 followers |

Jazzmatazz

LA face with an Oakland booty.
6,915 followers |

Shira

Improviser. Upright Citizens Brigade. Pittsburgh sports fan. Often opprobrious. More bounce to the ounce. Contributor to WitStream and @TheFakeCNN.
6,819 followers |

Faizzy!

My raucous laughter beats your, 'Jokes & Humour...'
6,660 followers |

Space Wanker

I am not an astronaut.
6,466 followers |

ms. diagnosed

Mother, daughter, carnivore, social drunk, shit talker, flirt and procrastinator du jour
6,370 followers |

The Goddess

A slightly retarded old soul.
6,330 followers |

blondediva11

I enjoy breathing.
6,114 followers |

suzanne

Sweet & salty with a bit of bitter & a swish of sour. A captivating tangle of contradictions, longings, complexities, & gifts--just like you.
6,104 followers |

Panda

I put cupcake lotion on because I'm an adult.
6,051 followers |

Sarachels

When it all comes down to it....Im funnier than you. If u dont like me, feel free to kick rocks. I book comedians for @TheSomeGuyShow podcast
5,938 followers |

some people call me

Dumb+Fork=Dork http://favstar.fm/users/MauriceBlitz
5,935 followers |

Jeni Scagnetti

In the history of language the first obscenity was silence.
5,846 followers |

Dr. Twittenheimer

I'm not a comedic genius. I'm just a regular genius who writes brilliant jokes. Check out my new website and book! http://www.drtwittenheimer.com/
5,813 followers |

Matthew Dolkart

Writer and performer of turtle jokes. See also @thefakecnn
5,802 followers |

emir kay

creative director / writer, M&C Saatchi. I once killed a spider with a book. It was by Paulo Coelho; I just read him the first paragraph.
5,707 followers |

Erin

5'9'' of pure awesomeness. http://portlandiagirl.tumblr.com/
5,704 followers |

juicymorsel

I’d leave more things unsaid, but I’m a woman.
5,553 followers |

Mariana Rivera

When I grow up I want to do a firefighter.
5,537 followers |

Chris Angel

Recording artist. Singer/Songwriter. Eater of Skittles. My wife married an idiot. My name is Chris. http://ChrisAngelMusic.com
5,524 followers |

Craving

Subterranean zombie - the brain's the sexiest organ we have. Lay down next to me so your entrails come out easier.
5,400 followers |

Stacey the Panda

Med school, music, Dunkin Donuts management, graphic design, comedy. Fueled by MCR, coffee, sarcasm. I was a panda in my past life. Follow at your own risk.
5,356 followers |

Adrian Woodworth

Throwing semi-colons around; like a maverick.
5,354 followers |

iamjenn2

I say things on the internet.
5,338 followers |

Joel Ingersoll

I get up and I put on pants.
5,327 followers |

Dumbassador

At times, I'm behind on followbacks, list adds & updates. Sorry. http://bit.ly/L5Dvny @freaksong & @JEDatLarge bios have Funny & Under list links. peace JED
5,264 followers |

Norm

I'm fake BS principle on everything in life. I live in my head. I like card tricks. For entertainment purposes only.
5,261 followers |

Derek

I write because they won't let me play with the scissors anymore.
5,183 followers |

fuck a therapist

the people in my life tell me i need professional help. the people in my head disagree.
5,144 followers |

Liz T. Goddess

Corporate Middle Manager by day. Domestic Goddess by night. I tweet a lot!
5,105 followers |

Kervin Ferreira

Graphic designer. Lover of all that is cool. Expert of awesome.
4,972 followers |

Henry Birdseye

Chicago UX guy enjoys technology, burritos.
4,931 followers |

Pixel Piper

Morally obtuse, she-nerd, iphone app developer with cynical tendencies...always had that pithy non sequitur thing going on.
4,803 followers |

5318008

If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it. Unless you're a hobbit. That shit goes in a volcano if you're a hobbit.
4,803 followers |

nice dream

i am a terrible storyteller.
4,767 followers |

Veronica

I'm a legend to last a lunchtime.
4,749 followers |

Sabrina

I carry a magnum condom in my purse like a modern day glass slipper, some day my prince will come. http://favstar.fm/users/ragekat
4,729 followers |

funsizdprincess

An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot... http://funsizdprincess.tumblr.com/
4,667 followers |

cfishing

Pink, it's what's for dinner. Current project, Wind Pissers Guide To Dominance.
4,596 followers |

passive aggressive

The drunken child of apathy and enthusiasm. Now 80% more lifelike!
4,563 followers |

Crystal Moon

http://favstar.fm/users/crystalmoonable
4,495 followers |

Nick Naylor

Southern guy in the desert. Created #boozeporn & #drunkbfastclub. Veni, Vidi, Whiskey. Maybe I drink too much. Have been told I'm Trouble. No Vagwhinas.
4,485 followers |

David Klein

Been known to write a little. Likes tacos. My best friend is my pet dinosaur.
4,459 followers |

Greg

The teeth on my keys all face the same direction on my key ring. Because I'm anal. I also enjoy love songs.
4,423 followers |

Uncle John

I'm the Uncle that asked you to pull my finger.
4,421 followers |

Joel Jeffrey

Original Tweeter. Radio Personality. Comedian. Size 13 feet. Mishapen Head. Beautiful Skin. http://favstar.fm/users/joeljeffrey/most_retweeted
4,325 followers |

randomisms

Apart from sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
4,316 followers |

The_martinigirl

Enter at your own risk! I swear so get over it! My partner in crime is @chrisanna4real I would go to jail for her:)
4,299 followers |

Christon Alexander

Thespian ~ StoryTeller ~ Mischief Maker
4,243 followers |

Mark

In a committed relationship. Maui is my dog, and my favorite island. Formally trained in visual arts, but also write. Always thinking and dreaming.
4,202 followers |

Indefensible

I wouldn't read this. Especially if you know me. The opinions are my own, and the jokes are terrible.
4,143 followers |

Modat

**frat-boy lewdness** -The New Yorker
4,017 followers |

Your Muse

Most of this is false. I am making this up. I always tell the truth.
4,012 followers |

No \/acancy

Committing several deadly sins daily ;) says... if the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
3,990 followers |

brendan reynolds

im an asshole. http://favstar.fm/users/superduperkewl
3,959 followers |

Dirty Blonde

Mild mannered office professional by day. . .if my co-workers only knew. Hobbies include Shopping, foofie umbrella drinks, socializing, Starbucks and travel.
3,917 followers |

Scarlett Fever

Music video junkie who adores great kids, particularly mine. Collecting friends who rock, get me, or otherwise fascinate.
3,917 followers |

This Charming Man

After all these years, my wife still calls me charming. She just says it with more sarcasm and disdain now.
3,855 followers |

Wendina

TMI ALERT! DISROBE AND ENTER DECONTAMINATION BAY! http://barenakedbones.wordpress.com http://weakgreentea.wordpress.com http://barenakedbones.blogspot.com
3,767 followers |

i used to be a pet

i still like to lick
3,589 followers |

Alex

You think you saw me licking the salt out of the inside of a bag of potato chips? Okay, that might have been me
3,586 followers |

CJ Roberts

I am a Writer, a Magician, a Strategist of Social Intelligence, a Neuromancer, a Photographer, a Zen Idealist and the Ghost of the Dark Muse Ministry.
3,569 followers |

Susan Spiaggia

Bank auditor, road warrior, Southerner, runner, bibliophile, OCD but in an adorable way. I love red wine and the beach. My favorite color is clear.
3,555 followers |

MisterPrankster

From a bird's eye view we're all just target practice.
3,509 followers |

snicky


3,462 followers |

Debby B.

I have 2 kids and a husband. What's your excuse?
3,396 followers |

Miss Creant

I am a symphony of contradictions.
3,389 followers |

Peter

If you believe any of this you're probably in the wrong Facebook.
3,385 followers |

Ginger-ish

'You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair,' said Anne reproachfully. 'People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is.
3,377 followers |

SleepCyn

Twitter is where I keep all my secrets. And by secrets, I mean lies. And subtle condescension. And self-deception. And cunt jokes. I also love bathrobes.
3,339 followers |

Princess.Cum.Bubbles

Luvs reading, walks in the park, crocheting, and I'm an astronaut.
3,332 followers |

haurdCider

I could have sworn I had an attic.
3,279 followers |

Tweetlbeee

Manager of Financial Operations (MOFO) for my household. Married and a mother to daughters. Does not want to see pictures of your wang.
3,269 followers |

Jacob

Debbie Gibson enthusiast. @sweet_steffy puts up with my shit.
3,230 followers |

dutch illuminati

certified chickpea whore, dirtbag historian. literally a bee. #CREWNECKyeg
3,143 followers |

Pantse Macabre

I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs, blown up for Racquel Welch.
3,142 followers |

Viley Virus

I am a man trapped inside the body of a female demon & one day if you're lucky I will be inside of you- WORSHIP ME!
3,129 followers |

Sherry

Really good guesser, pop-up and picture book enthusiast. Music is my religion.
3,067 followers |

Clay

Ziggy Stardust impersonator. Will play funerals, corporate events, bar/bat mitzvahs.
3,058 followers |

Mary

Do I ever cross your mind? All hope abandon ye who enter here. Deathly allergic to tedious and common.
3,047 followers |

Flaptain Oinkstar

Typoet Laureate
3,030 followers |

Jessica

Everybody chill the fuck out, I got this.
3,018 followers |

Madame LaCrooz

Living La Dolce Vita, except in color.
2,976 followers |

Tolle Haus

I like to laugh. You?
2,962 followers |

Arch Stanton

Your Best Nightmare
2,930 followers |

Jon Deal

Why won't you just love me for the person I purport to be?
2,914 followers |

Ska Cat

Professional Make-up artist. Amateur Womble.
2,901 followers |

Southern Insomniac

Southern gal with a quirky view on life...figured out what it's all about, but I'm still hanging around.
2,819 followers |

Nikka

I'm Cassanova with boobs. EOE.
2,807 followers |

Kelly T

Seriously, don't. And don't touch my stuff either.
2,787 followers |

iMelbel

Saving the world one sarcastic tweet with sprinkles on it at a time.
2,766 followers |

Pam

You want a bio? Just keep reading.
2,755 followers |

Funnyshit

Funny, wacky shit. I try to be orig. but sometimes I recycle old jokes - Anon.
2,728 followers |

Chipster

My sleep number is vodka.
2,716 followers |

Vincent Vasectomy

Shouting out inappropriate shit enriching lives. Enjoys riots and snorting ants. I suffer from acephalia My tumblr @ http://mentalvasectomy.com
2,708 followers |

Writepop

Writer of science fiction, humor, and other strange things
2,707 followers |

I am not telling

wordy thought string maker
2,693 followers |

Victoria

Still riding the short bus. Laissez les bon temps rouler!
2,692 followers |

Shock & Awe

Morally bankrupt daughter of a preacher man, baptized in dirty water. A mighty juggernaut. iFlirt. Living in the heart of my life, not on the fringe of yours.
2,681 followers |

Eminence Front

I have stagefright and a bottle of scotch
2,677 followers |

George Cocksman

All tweets, all the time
2,663 followers |

Jane 0751750

What you probably want from me is less context.
2,649 followers |

BrattyBarbie

There is always a funny redhead. Always. --- @jtichtich
2,621 followers |

Boobarella

I'm part of the problem
2,613 followers |

pinaplicious

My job is shit, my house is prone to infestations and other disasters, I can't type worth a fuck, and my language makes sailors blush.
2,611 followers |

Gem

I dine. I travel. I shop. I network. I'm a little bit of this, a little bit of that and a few of those. People live vicariously through my tweets.
2,573 followers |

Ryan J John

My dad told me, 'You're such a fucking comedian.' So I got a Twitter account because that's apparently what we comedians do.
2,525 followers |

richmckay

I was born, never really learned to dance properly, never got over that stage where you can freely wear capes without people questioning you, and then it's now.
2,511 followers |

califmom

Widow at 40—thanks cancer, way to be a pal! Parent to one neurotypical kid and one Aspie. Not looking for a cure. California native in love with a Jersey boy.
2,503 followers |

John M

I've been meaning to change this; maybe tomorrow. (memo to self: include procrastination as a hobby in new bio)
2,488 followers |

Steve Tweeters

Neurotic. Also, father of 5. Also, have ADD. While we're being honest, kind of an alcoholic also.
2,469 followers |

@tnylgn

come back they said. tweet they said. it'll be fun they said.
2,464 followers |

M. Chad Durham

Frustrated Writer, Loving Husband, Struggling Parent, Apathetic Cubiclean, Amateur Comedian. Find The PG13 Bull at http://www.facebook/mchaddurham
2,440 followers |

X Alqee

The Cake is a Lie
2,428 followers |

Rachael Kathryn

I'm not diggin' the dancin' queen :(
2,425 followers |

Daniel Islas

Only the Skipper knows... and Mary Ann's gynecologist.
2,425 followers |

Gary

Human
2,415 followers |

Space Slug

I appreciate all the support.. I got my @GeneralGrevious account back.. come on over there and hang out.. I am...
2,408 followers |

URKidnRite

'Kid' attempting humor. A 40ish geek...engage with me i'll follow u back. I try 2 keep it positive. Read http://ow.ly/1JMcT for more
2,400 followers |

Chris Andrews

Not so much a chatty soul, just someone wanting to share what's funny or interesting.
2,387 followers |

technopriest5

I clearly left my self esteem in my other pants.
2,374 followers |

Peachy

I have great boobs. I believe in pastry & sweet tea. I'm totally honest none of the time. Atheist. Opiate enthusiast. Blessed are shoes & jewelry. Hail penis!
2,354 followers |

imtellingmom

I'm telling Mom that you're a whore. (I am not @Jenna_Marbles but my avi is.)
2,332 followers |

Jane Doe

2,321 followers |

Shmólly Schmülz

The human condition, personified.
2,316 followers |

V

ubiquitous opinionatrix (based on a true story)
2,311 followers |

Alicia

Don't expect much of this twitter account.
2,289 followers |

Sir Kelleth

record store jerk.
2,274 followers |

S. Anthony Thomas

Comedian. Work in perpetual progress.
2,266 followers |

Pamela

rambling 30 something optimist..spreading light and love..not her legs..so don't ask!
2,264 followers |

The Middle Child

Sarcasm...it's what's for dinner. (And you're lucky you're eating!)
2,262 followers |

Kim

Sugar and snark.
2,259 followers |

Zillah Gashlycrumb

I once starred in an off-Broadway musical about a girl with a transgender father called 'Daddy Pees Sitting Now'.
2,254 followers |

Fallun Angel

An angel with horns.
2,250 followers |

pierced brat ©

degradable.
2,237 followers |

Formerly MaxHoopla

Was voted funniest comedian in a scientific poll among the raccoons living in my attic.
2,228 followers |

Anastasia Kazakevich

My hobbies include shiny things, bubble-wrap, and pretending we all live in Ancient Rome. http://theoneandonlyanastasiak.blogspot.com/
2,216 followers |

Peach Grenade

Often compared to C-3PO & R2-D2, 'cause one of us is annoying & no one can understand the other one.
2,195 followers |

Crab

Stronger than ativan and more powerful than chocolate. Send me an email at google - BlueCrabsEmail
2,164 followers |

Madelene

Editor in chief, investigative reporter. I mix fun and news. Star of parallel parking.
2,161 followers |

Yo Mama

All I wanted was a pepsi
2,154 followers |

Theo Tsecouras

I'm not a native speaker and it snows.
2,149 followers |

Grover Iscariot

Not The Real Grover. Pussy Whisperer. Weed Snob. Chronic Masticator. Fucking Adorable. Ballastics Kicker. Bad Muppetfucker. http://itsmyurls.com/supagrover
2,147 followers |

Liz, Queen of Cheese

Hi, I'm a solipsist. Pleased to meet me.
2,143 followers |

breeenin

I'm a sexycologist with a PhD in supreme awesomeness.
2,135 followers |

Sandra Enns-Arnell

Don't worry, I'm a professional.
2,110 followers |

Maria Maltseva

Loves: Music, Atheism, Skepticism, Law, Lefty Politics, Art, Writing, Poetry, Humor, Science, Math, LGBTQ Rights. http://favstar.fm/users/bluharmony/recent
2,110 followers |

Benn Fucking Tastic

Fuck like you need money. Stalk like they're already falling in love with you. You're welcome.
2,100 followers |

Bado

Lifelong goal: Get on Wheel of Fortune, spin the wheel, and tell Pat Sajak that I'll take a P
2,088 followers |

Bobby B

King of all douche bags
2,087 followers |

Julie

She was an American girl, raised on promises.
2,086 followers |

Alison Forns

stand-up comic/ contributing writer for Weekend Update/ lover of wild souls
2,071 followers |

Lori

I'm just your average, ordinary girl.
2,024 followers |

Jason

I AM ROCK AND ROLL
2,021 followers |

Drew (Not a Guy) H

...and then before I knew it I had awesome all over me. I'm never going to get this out.
1,996 followers |

Chris

produced in a factory containing traces of nuts.
1,963 followers |

Brian Boyle

Some of the stuff I did last night still haunts me to this day.
1,961 followers |

Krispy Kreme

Psychotic ramblings from a functioning alcoholic.
1,940 followers |

Dirty Mind

Hoping to make you laugh at least once. Kisses!
1,896 followers |

GetbentLA

NSFW
1,872 followers |

VirgoSherry

It's just me
1,871 followers |

Assi

I'll go straight for Superman. I shit like 10x a day.
1,868 followers |

Bunk Bedfellow

purveyor of used books and poppycock.
1,855 followers |

Missy

You know nothing of pork rinds. Girlfriend and, who are we kidding, future anal cherry popper of @matthewdill.
1,843 followers |

Zino Macaluso

Wow. Your baby is really ugly.
1,834 followers |

eRod

I have a tendency to miss a or 2 when I type and often mispell words.
1,831 followers |

Roni Sokol

I'm nobody's mother in law! First I was a lawyer. Then I became a mommy. Both are funny. I write about it. Check out my blog and see what I mean!
1,821 followers |

Troy

{∅}
1,800 followers |

Patrick Kerr

Vegas showboy. One time Noel on FRASIER and the blind guy on CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM. Left-handed politics. Palmer method.
1,756 followers |

Jim

Writer, thinker, pretty much enjoys airports strip searches, can't wait for his next prostate exam, honest bullshitter, writes books and feeds them to goats
1,749 followers |

Kristi Harrison

Austin Area Stand Up Comedian & Joke Writer
1,743 followers |

rachel

I can touch my nose with my tongue.
1,720 followers |

Denice

Go read the website. 160 characters, ha!
1,711 followers |

LJS

8th most popular tweeter in Louisville, I'd follow me.
1,708 followers |

Lindsay Anne Black

Set and Costume Designer, former Scenic Artist, Photographer, Notorious Lesbian, Hack Ukuleleist, and 60's spy-fi enthusiast.
1,692 followers |

Johnny F. Chimpo

I'm 6'9 & my penis is 15 inches. I'm a Rapper, Producer & Life Coach. I drive a murder black Lambo. But everyone lies so this shouldn't be new to you. FUCKLULZ!
1,690 followers |

Turd Ferguson

I'm 47% positive I'm not autistic Please go to http://www.invisiblechildren.com and pledge to #STOPKONY2012!!!
1,685 followers |

Jennifer McB

You could say I'm a smart ass, but I prefer witty. I know many things, interesting and mundane. I'm not really that nice, but I really am nice. Nice
1,684 followers |

little black heart

I don't even have the energy to not give a fuck today...
1,677 followers |

David

Any other use of this telecast or any pictures, descriptions, or accounts of the game without DavidsAlterEgo's consent is prohibited..
1,662 followers |

ohhhlivia

Absurdity is 9/10ths of the law.
1,657 followers |

David

Will never understand what women want. What do they want? They eat green salad and drink human blood.
1,654 followers |

Frieda Club

No kidding, your mother must be a very interesting person.
1,654 followers |

Steve

Self-proclaimed SkeeBall champion. These tweets have not been evaluated by the FDA for safety, effectiveness, or purity.
1,653 followers |

Susie Creamcheese

Out of the Straight Jacket. 4 Now.
1,640 followers |

Maggie Steciuk

Not quite the geek she hoped to become, but there's time still.
1,637 followers |

Meadowsnark Lemon

Brother, can you spare a lime?
1,632 followers |

Arushi Nayar

writer, copywriter etc.
1,629 followers |

Justina

All dressed up with some medicine for luck! #BlackRock
1,617 followers |

Cute Ass Sock Monkey

Just a baby sock monkey, nothing to see here.
1,613 followers |

Knotta Boy

Profanity laced ramblings.
1,596 followers |

Tyrone Mitchell

Web Dev, Tech geek, Photog, Husband, Dad, Runner (@tyrunning), blogger, sports fan. Opinionated & (not always) nice. My tweets are random; so is my life.
1,588 followers |

The Real JazzyJeffro

Living 2 houses down from severe depression in a cozy place I like to call Mourning Wood Manor. The stoner side of @Donkeyramp
1,581 followers |

The Angry Czeck

Rancor and rage stuffed in a homemade leather wallet of hate.
1,570 followers |

Nobody you know

Sarcastic overweight broke emotionally unavailable single mom of two boys or witty zaftig livin'on love independent single mom of two boys. Perception :-)
1,548 followers |

ADLT

Leader of men, talker of words. I can't promise you'll like me but I can almost guarantee the opposite
1,543 followers |

stupid idiot

i dont like stuff and that.
1,542 followers |

Not Silvestri

I am the President of the United States of America. I hope this bio gets me blacklisted.
1,535 followers |

Ryan Collins

President of Earth Leader of the Free Fucking World
1,535 followers |

Nick

I only go to strip clubs because they have great steaks
1,534 followers |

Tom Compton

I like to sit outside and see what becomes of my liver.
1,525 followers |

Mrs Joshua Homme

South African living in the UK, but looking for my own island. I love rock music. And cake. And whisky. And vodka. And Nutella.
1,525 followers |

JDT

Returning from places unknown...
1,518 followers |

keithland

i just like to laugh
1,510 followers |

Bean

Just a girl. Yes, I know my shoe is untied.
1,509 followers |

Deconile

Huh?
1,504 followers |

Hoptical Illusion

I have no excuse for the way I'm about to behave.
1,493 followers |

Meyechael

If I told you about myself, there's no chance in hell you'd follow me so just do it blindly.
1,486 followers |

RJ

don't read too much into this.
1,481 followers |

Bildungsroman

RIP Farrah, you're not forgotten.
1,475 followers |

The Other Me

These are the thoughts I want to share, but don't want people to know I have. Probably mostly about masturbation or pooping.
1,473 followers |

Diana Swagger

Diplomacy is best conducted with boobs
1,468 followers |

Jeannie B

Artist, Mom of 3, Easily amused (obviously). I follow funny people in the hopes of becoming one when I grow up.
1,463 followers |

Joanell

Vogon poet, Proustian slag
1,463 followers |

Dear No One

I'm fucking bananas, like desperate woman.
1,456 followers |

Penbleth

Not making sense, one word at a time: http://favstar.fm/users/penbleth Life with a kid with Autism: http://penbleth.co.uk More nonsense: http://penbleth.com
1,428 followers |

Amy Rangel

Photoshop enthusiast, jewelry designer and wannabe writer and sometimes I'm funny. http://www.formspring.me/AMHRangel
1,419 followers |

D. Parker

Just sittin' in the bushes, reading your tweets. Hoping to be allowed back in the house one day.
1,411 followers |

DirtyBlaxican

THAT'S RACIST!
1,398 followers |

Brook Bristow

I like football, craft beer, steak, potatoes, 1st Amendment jurisprudence, Gamecocks & Dolphins, and the use of serial commas. I dislike most other things.
1,380 followers |

Hosey

Have a seat. This might take a while.
1,351 followers |

The Ice Queen

If u believe any of the shit i write on here, then you're more stupid than you look....
1,324 followers |

Justin Case

Its a doggy dog world.
1,320 followers |

HASDays

Overtweeter who will talk to almost anyone. Tweeting for the fun of it. Almost everything I tweet isn't to be taken seriously, or to heart :)
1,317 followers |

Virginia Lore

1,316 followers |

Bill Nye is my hero.

Biologist. Chemist. Naturalist. Ornithologist. Love Conservation Ecology, Dinosaurs, DC Comics, Star Wars, video games, cats, George RR Martin, Jolly Ranchers.
1,310 followers |

Sheepie

Lost in Italy.
1,301 followers |

Jenn

I like to bathe in coffee.
1,300 followers |

Tim John

Improviser, Writer | It's fun being the tortured creative type. Except for the torture.
1,299 followers |

Dilligaf

Imaginary friends are way more fun.
1,286 followers |

Magnus

May impair your ability to operate machinery. If you believe that my tweets reflects my real life, you're prolly an idiot.
1,279 followers |

Psycholyst

I ride a bike & spend too much time in the gym. At the intersection of politics, sex, absurdity and irreverence. In the gravitational pull of @flsteelersbabe
1,278 followers |

Mike the Bike

Motorcyclist. Yoga fucker.
1,264 followers |

snarkarella

i think in monochrome and speak in rainbow. kiwi fruit seeds freak me out.
1,253 followers |

Karen

Who ARE these people?
1,253 followers |

Desperate Loser

Not only am I the president of LAG (Loser Advocacy Group) I'm a member... the only member, but whatever. I'm here for you. Not really, don't call me.
1,250 followers |

Sue

I'm the one you wish you went to school with. #AutismSupport
1,244 followers |

Vicky_Greece

All I ever asked was an easy life, a good job, lots of money, a hot boyfriend, beauty, brightness, glory, a private jet, a private island...
1,230 followers |

Che Volay

Twittering original Tweets, Adventurer, Salacious Bonhomous Recalcitrant & Philosopher
1,222 followers |

Candy Pantz

I'm the laser of two evils.
1,208 followers |

Jamie Ramone

Joey Ramone's bastard daughter. MILF, blogger, and all-around badass.
1,202 followers |

Christy Mac

Reading Baseball America in a tutu, like a princess.
1,200 followers |

Ophelia

schmaa
1,188 followers |

abbey hunter

where has all the candy gone?!?
1,186 followers |

Dusty

I'm tired of the same old crap. just want to MONKEY around on the internet! Laughter is my music. It warms my soul.
1,183 followers |

MaximusXXX™®

* Janis Joplin is my Idol. Whatever!
1,181 followers |

Dawn

Just the girl next door, living the american dream..
1,177 followers |

paul shinn

lover of code, sweets, and wanderlust. wields oven mitts and keyboard shortcuts. perpetual cavalcade of randomness. coconut.
1,158 followers |

Jade River

...mostly snark. Tweets are about, eh, 97% true sarcastic observations about commercials, TV & life in general [ask me & you shall receive an honest answer]
1,154 followers |

Regina Hunter

Attorney, Cynic, and Fashionista...
1,152 followers |

Justin Jewell

Freelance Novelist, Service Industry Flunky, Part-Time Lover
1,146 followers |

the dude

they peed on my f████ rug!
1,114 followers |

Arely Anelly

Beware of a pretty smile a barbed tongue may hide behind...not me I'm sweet! No profanity out this mouth, only behind closed doors! I abuse exclamation points!!
1,092 followers |

Jenn

eharmony reject, interpretive dancer & typo queen
1,088 followers |

Mack E. Avelli

Figure it out.
1,079 followers |

Sascha Höhne

UI/VIDesigner @ Apple. Opinions are my own and unrelated to my employer.
1,056 followers |

Alex

Still not getting my facts right on the internets.
1,055 followers |

Whiskey Dad

Father, husband, drinker, music lover, corporate slave, professional cynic, big in Europe, born to cuss.
1,041 followers |

Rnee Erne Nree

En invierno sacudo mi abanico en sentido contrario para quitarme el frío.
1,024 followers |

jcgreen

1,018 followers |

Tymethief

Moving through Entropy... while testing software remotely for a company in East Tucson. http://ramblingsofanoftenabsentmind.blogspot.com/
1,017 followers |

Dolanite

Not That Good... Not That Bad Either.
1,012 followers |

Petherwin

We are disconnected beings floundering in a void, like crabs sinking in bottomless custard.
1,007 followers |

Nun_Ya

If you understand sarcasm? Climb aboard. Otherwise, fuck off!
1,000 followers |

C. T.

Welcome. Sometimes the content is mature. Same goes for the writer.
999 followers |

RnBetty

A nurse of the sordid: Encouraging successful transactions between genders related to sex, mutual respect & expectations. An old-fashioned mixed liberal.
985 followers |

Flush This Book

Two chicks talking about shit. We've written a funny bathroom reader all about poop. Learn about the book, our blog and more at our website.
981 followers |

Teen LaQuifa

Vigorously inconsequential!
971 followers |

Michael

I've been to a lot of places, I've done a lot of things, I can't predict what will happen next, but I can still find my way home.
967 followers |

Istillhaswhine

Hot & Spicy.
949 followers |

bearzconfusion

Just a Taste Of Chaos \'o'/ Bi,Weed Smoking'Amused,Atheist,PitBull LoVeR,.Vodka Pleeze! Oh,and Haters welcomed!
944 followers |

mpseudo

931 followers |

Glenn

I can't believe I ate the whole thong.
925 followers |

Killerwit

From the ass to the pussy then back down the throat
912 followers |

thehotlibrarian

I'm an assassin, I will kill you...and raise your children as my own!
906 followers |

Rob Graham

Am I strong? Listen, bud. I have radioactive blood. So, no. I'm quite weak and sick.
891 followers |

Kirsten's Desk

We'll get along fine, as long as you don't come between me and my coffee.
868 followers |

Carli Davila

The things I think.
862 followers |

Yeah, her

Snarky malarky.
861 followers |

Ethan

I found your sock. Still want it?
860 followers |

Jen Simon

I'm a non-crazy person in a crazy world. Can be cunty at times, but totally in a good way. Factually incorrect & socially irresponsible, but SO FUN!
850 followers |

The Dear Miss M

snide or die
846 followers |

Kiley

Where have all the flowers gone?
826 followers |

Smokey Martling

A psychopathic, blind visionary, and spiritual advisor to the Medellin Cartel.
826 followers |

Shana

After nearly two decades of work I've finally perfected the lost art of talking under one's breath.
824 followers |

Lori

Living on the edge without watching my step or wearing sensible shoes.
822 followers |

Hannah

I'm probably the most smarterest model. Ever.
821 followers |

Jonas Strandell

Please don't ask me to increase the size of your logo. It's not an extension of your penis.
816 followers |

David

Inside the mind of an online alter ego...
811 followers |

shoey

rites of passage II..davenport, IA... 563-326-0143...
806 followers |

Judy Graham

No, Mr. DeMille, I am NOT ready for my close-up.
806 followers |

Ross Rants

If you can't drive, I will tell you! Also Chris Elliot Clone http://www.zazzle.com/threeforcesofevil for t-shirts and stuff
792 followers |

Christine

Free Hugs
786 followers |

Jay Pee

Don't worry about it, I don't like myself either.
786 followers |

Small Chick

Just a quirky girl who is trying to get her funny on.
779 followers |

J-SIN

vsbdhkdjdjnndndbnkd
769 followers |

Rob in Oklahoma

Being There
762 followers |

Jimmer Cork-Bottle

From the twelve winded sky. Retired prime minister. I once saw an Emmy award. That photo is older than you are.
758 followers |

IB Balicanta

If God is inside me, I hope he likes Beer.
750 followers |

Blue Dream

smokin and tweetin on the reg
743 followers |

DuckDimples

I'm not a leader, follower, or doormat...I do my own thing and don't really care if it's popular or not.
741 followers |

Mr. Mikowski

Making life into a series of refined knock knock jokes
741 followers |

Jeff W

Medical Student | Photographer | Writer | Blogger | Laker Fan | Technophile
740 followers |

Anita

I before U. No exceptions.
739 followers |

Grove Vee

World wide douche fighter
736 followers |

Dick

Prohibited where Void. (formerly MrTwatts)
725 followers |

★Star★

It smells like fart in here.
723 followers |

Your BFF

My Vegas name is Ava ;) and I don't like meanies ;)
718 followers |

Dana Roshnie M______

Project Manager. Part-time model. Cupcake lover. Vegetarian. Horrible wannabe cook. Former single girl. Daily survivor of APS. Full time badass.
717 followers |

nyccabgirl

Just a girl riding a NYC taxi cab somewhere in Manhattan. Warning: I can be a snarky bitch.
688 followers |

ms.mom

I'm not bitter, I'm bitchy. And not a bit sarcastic.
678 followers |

It's Just Monica

My partner in crime is @Common_Sense69. Found happiness Where The Sidewalk Ends. Dr. Seuss enthusiast, Chuck Taylor admirer, allergic to common sense.
661 followers |

Jizzprechaun

Stop staring at my ass you are creeping me the Fuck out!
646 followers |

switchbladephd

RT @sailormidori i've concluded that dominos pizza laces their cheese with ex-lax.no other explanation for the eldritch horrors pouring forth from my bowels.
633 followers |

Joel Sharpton

I'm a writer a DJ and dad, an Apple fan, NBA lover, music adorer and more interested in enjoying myself than impressing anyone else.
605 followers |

doitforchris

I'm the guy your mom warned you about, but then realized she was thinking of somebody else. http://favstar.fm/users/doitforchris
603 followers |

R.G. Daniel

I have many interests, but for Twitter purposes my focus will usually be woodworking and/or general wise-cracking.
599 followers |

It's Her

Self-awareness is a bitch.
598 followers |

Mike Hawk

logical warfare
583 followers |

Wee Mad Arthur

Progress/OpenEdge Programmer, Husband, father, grandfather, Quickly aging rocker, and devourer of books - Discworld Fanatic
582 followers |

Anne Marie Chadwick

Trying to live one day at a time...without cameltoe. Troop Beverly Hills was robbed of the Oscar
569 followers |

Bob H.

Grumpy most of the time.
551 followers |

its a thought

I can't stand on my toes in real life, so I do it on the internet. I'm an artist, writer and a person.
541 followers |

staceydsmith74

536 followers |

Dave Z.

That guy Dave. Disclaimer: I am not a real referee.
533 followers |

cuteness

528 followers |

Milana

NO, i'm not trying to be funny. i enjoy sending out tweets, if you think its funny,its not you,its me.
525 followers |

Michelle

...just another wife / mom / engineer who looked out upon the overcrowded marketplace and said, Me, too!
514 followers |

Carey Megan

customer care, cleverness, control freak, character, creation, castoff, color, california, cookies, culture, communication, Christ... clearly comprise a Carey
496 followers |

Ezequiel Ferreras

1989 - Present
495 followers |

AKA Pax

You may actually get to know me better here. May. May not.
489 followers |

Moeskido

More than kin. Less than kind.
478 followers |

Tamara King

Let's see... I write naughty guy-on-guy fanfiction when I'm bored.
477 followers |

Calamity Now


464 followers |

KarmaChameleonK

462 followers |

Meidhreach Piscín

Life can be funny - if you know where to look. Occasionally funny with a feline bent.
459 followers |

QueenSarah2062

Music teacher, organist superhero, grad student, mom of Peace Corps volunteer and college student. Need humor for survival.
453 followers |

Per Vert

Lost. Don't come looking for me.
446 followers |

Nobody

The artist formerly know as mytweecwetlife.
445 followers |

Lisa

Convoluted scribbler lost in a humid neighborhood. Chopstix hoarder. Sunglass whore. Lover of beaux arts, international relations and audacious selection.
438 followers |

hermeneutic circle

I am only here to have a bit of fun & a giggle...YES i ask dumb,silly ,random questions :)))
428 followers |

Mike Andreasen

Smoking is not only permitted in this area, often times it's downright encouraged. Just be glad you don’t live with me – YET.
427 followers |

Richard Mills

Narcissistic Welshman, Attention Junkie, Amateur Beer Taster. Hobbies include Stalking and over-sharing
422 followers |

trompe

When heroes go down Man or woman revealed Do you show any kind of mercy On the battlefield?
419 followers |

Dat Nguyen

YOU ARE A TASTY INDIVIDUAL
418 followers |

Jennifer SciFi

Crazy Cat! | therealjenscifi at yahoo dot com | skype me jen.sci.fi
413 followers |

James Twist

Irreverent, sometimes creepy, sometimes both.
411 followers |

Jake Walters

meat & potatoes
408 followers |

Miss Ann Thrope

Now with 100% more sarcasm! http://favstar.fm/users/MissAdvise
401 followers |

Stephen Fink

Where do I submit my résumé?
396 followers |

Amy Star

Sex and humor: that's what I'm about. Sometimes both at the same time!
394 followers |

Renata Rullán

Ex alumna de la ibero. Mis ídolos son Audrey Hepburn, Margot Tenenbaum, Liz Lemon y Miss Piggy.
374 followers |

Malcolm

Six teenagers have discovered the power to fight the forces of evil. Now the fate of the universe is in their hands.
372 followers |

Lorena

Sinking right side up right side down
371 followers |

Not Ron Jeremy

This is one Jew that won't just fuck you financially!
367 followers |

Apache Chief

From his hidden underground casino, Apache Chief reveals the secrets of the Super Friends
336 followers |

Christy Confetti

I like boning to the oldies and crying to get what I want.
336 followers |

Hank Kingsley

Hey Now!
330 followers |

Hose Nose

They still say I'm a real pecker.
323 followers |

ImmaCracker

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
321 followers |

Tweeter McGavin

Damn you people. Go back to your shanties.
312 followers |

Leo Ash

I'm usually wrong so don't take me serious.
305 followers |

Philip Kodiak Bear

Ursine actor. Sharing a cave with my angsty cousin, Cavemaster & my ex-gf's cubs from another baby daddy. Currently looking for a new agent.
303 followers |

michele

i can split an atom AND fry it up in a pan...
297 followers |

Theangrybusdrvr

I'm that creepy bus driver that parks in front of your house. If I follow you, I find you funny or interesting and don't require you to follow me back.
297 followers |

Lea Cartwright

Print Media Darling in a former life. Now my attempt is to make some sort of money by doing as little as possible.
281 followers |

BC

One spit-take away from getting my ass kicked out of here.
280 followers |

Lady Fancypants

277 followers |

Red Delicious

Here to prove redheads have more fun! Just another chick with a gutter mind & a potty mouth. #TheWorldOfRed #hashtagmafia
274 followers |

Foolish Notion

Saying whatever comes to mind will only get you so far in life, and here I am.
268 followers |

laurel

Give me something to read.
265 followers |

Diesel the Dog

Captain Crotch Sniffer here. Saying all the shit your dog would say if only he could talk.
258 followers |

Bob

Burrito aficionado. Aspiring Jedi, but mostly because I'm too lazy to change the TV without the remote.
255 followers |

Sheerluck Holmes

mortigi tempo --- killing time
255 followers |

Couch Coach

Stop pretending that you're NOT looking at the cheerleaders during the national anthem.
253 followers |

Splits

Making men fall in love and want to kill me since 1986
253 followers |

nobody

A man and his backbone are dangerously exposed. Perhaps this explains the shortage.
250 followers |

Petrit

Im always sarcastic especially when it seems I am not! Talking about solitary fun. http://favstar.fm/users/Petro_Letro/recent
247 followers |

Sharing Shamelessly

The simple joy of a place for my unfiltered thoughts.  Well, not completely because I'm paranoid of stalkers.
239 followers |

Xose Morais

Writer / Producer / Prominent arachnophobic
238 followers |

Ei Aitch

Part time funny / Part time student / Part time Nigerian email scammer.
235 followers |

zig zagler

Please follow if easily offended! I would be more than happy to put you in a traumatic experience!!
232 followers |

Just A Gal

30 something, made in Canada.
218 followers |

Girl Next Door

The girl behind the mouth above where your eyes are.
217 followers |

Live here, I don't

I probably won't live in the next place, either.
215 followers |

Samantha Colson

If you notice I'm being funny, let me know!
213 followers |

Lucky Angel

I'm 32 flavors & then some.
211 followers |

Dennis

I'd make a great dog for the right girl.
210 followers |

E

190 followers |

Omar

Ok. I admit it. I'm a cult leader.
178 followers |

DanielB

If you are interested in more info, ask me. If I am interested, I will answer
175 followers |

Bob Austin

I'm the guy in the background of your NYC tourist photos with the ponytail and Led Zep shirt.
165 followers |

@bedheadblonde

Feminine duplicity and trenchant wit.
161 followers |

Mr. Bunny

I was born next to a nuclear bomb site. That pretty much explains it all.
126 followers |

Rhonda

One line Bio? Wouldn't that be a run on sentence? I like cheese and Llamas, not necessarily in that order.
124 followers |

Luka SM

That's all there is. There isn't any more.
116 followers |

Lizzie

I have my moments
112 followers |

WhooBooLou

Crazy Mother, Mad Scientist, Weird Humourist. If I took the time to reread and fix my typos I wouldn't have time to handout stars. Go fuck yourselves typos!
97 followers |

Shay

Model, not a porn star. Intellectual, not a dumbass. Music lover, not a groupie. Lover, not a fighter.
92 followers |

Carly No Pants

No pants dance party. Every day, all day.
79 followers |

Pants Puppet

53 followers |

MyOther Tweets

Shit, it's the cops!
52 followers |

Tangled Web

[Insert large, pretentious descriptive words here to appear educated and crafty]
43 followers |

Evil Dave

The anti-Dave.
34 followers |

Curated by Norm
Submitted by carrmah

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Tags: humor

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