Wits
RainnWilson
I am an actor and a writer and I co-created SoulPancake and my son, Walter.1,888,050 followers | Follow
Penn Jillette
PennSays, P&T: Bullshit!, more than half (by weight) of Penn & Teller1,627,385 followers | Follow
Stephen Colbert
1,455,881 followers | Follow
Greg Grunberg
Mind Reader, Pilot Oceanic 815, Co-Founder Yowza!!, Smoothaise & Band From TV, Ex-CIA Agent, DILF, Kirk's Evil StepDad, Who's Your Daddy?1,420,226 followers | Follow
Jason Sweeney
limited edition, macaroni and glitter on construction paper.1,213,192 followers | Follow
Joel Stein
I am neither important enough nor unimportant enough to do this.1,081,976 followers | Follow
Tim Siedell
Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.367,150 followers | Follow
TXTS FROM LAST NIGHT
remember that text that you shouldn't have sent last night? we do.213,308 followers | Follow
Fake AP Stylebook
Style tips for proper writing. contact: fakeapstylebook at gmail dot com. No submissions, please. All material copyright The Bureau Chiefs, LLC.109,422 followers | Follow
Seth Meyers
94,131 followers | Follow
Daryl Cagle
DARYL CAGLE is msnbc.com’s cartoonist! Visit: http://cagle.msnbc.com http://blog.cagle.com/daryl http://politicalcartoons.com http://cagle.com/app73,170 followers | Follow
CollegeHumor
Official CH Twitter: staff tweets and links to favorite content. Staff: @bleepbloopjeff, @dangurewitch, @samreich, @sarahschneider, @jakeandamir, @streetseidell72,927 followers | Follow
Thomas Lennon
Lt. Dangle on Reno 911!, Member of the comedy group The State. Author of various films.34,024 followers | Follow
People of Walmart
31,304 followers | Follow
Mike Birbiglia
touring comedian, presently writing a book of true stories and a movie script.29,332 followers | Follow
Tremendous News!
Don't follow me if you're really-really smart. You know when your math teacher asked you to carry the 1? I still don't know what that means.22,512 followers | Follow
Adam Lisagor
putthison.com, youlooknicetoday.com, birdhouseapp.com, adamlisagor.com20,279 followers | Follow
awkwardfamilyphotos
18,908 followers | Follow
Overheard Newsroom
@OHnewsroom delivers the best overheard comments in any newsroom @OHnewsroom your tweets for the site!17,641 followers | Follow
Andy Borowitz
Comedian and Writer, New Yorker humorist, Creator of BorowitzReport.com14,810 followers | Follow
Jelisa Castrodale
I've learned a lot about life by making a mess of my own.14,686 followers | Follow
Jesse Thorn
Proprietor of MaximumFun.org and host of Public Radio International's The Sound of Young America.8,246 followers | Follow
Jonathan Ames
I am the author of eight books and the forthcoming HBO show, "Bored to Death."6,141 followers | Follow
Tom Bodett
A name vaguely familiar to most Americans. Folksy Pitchman. Obscure, slightly famous humorist... -NY Times5,511 followers | Follow
Doctor Zaius
Just another misanthropic orangutan from the future forced to twitter by court order to learn how 'intelligent' and 'evolved' humans are5,078 followers | Follow
Colleen Wainwright
Pushing the c*cksucking boulder up the motherf*cking hill.4,853 followers | Follow
colson whitehead
just another down on his luck carny with a pocketful of broken dreams4,663 followers | Follow
Dave Barry
3,971 followers | Follow
Matt Besser
#1 Ranked Comedian Holder of more world comedy records than any other living comedian.3,683 followers | Follow
Alex Blagg
Co-Founding Editor of BestWeekEver.tv, Executive Editor of Celebuzz.com, Internetainer, Super Important Person.3,556 followers | Follow
Fake Michael Bay
Guns | Explosions | Shredding Guitar Solos | Money! (Not affiliated with the real Michael Bay))3,181 followers | Follow
Katie Rose
You know the burnt-out college student in front of you in line at Target who was intermittently chuckling to herself? Nice to meet you, too.2,570 followers | Follow
Overheard It
Overheard it? Post a noteable quote to Twitter, preface it with “overheard” and we’ll do the rest.2,515 followers | Follow
Some Crazy Chick
a little crazy a little lovely a little goofy a little wild a little nerdy1,996 followers | Follow
Chad Vader
Day shift manager of Empire Market. My brother Darth is famous because of some movie he was in called Star Wars. he sent me this hand-me-down suit.1,807 followers | Follow
MarkYoshimotoNemcoff
Professional comedy writer, award-winning author and creator/host of the hilarious THINGS I LEARNED THIS WEEK1,297 followers | Follow
John McIntyre
Former mild-mannered copy editor for a great metropolitan newspaper1,048 followers | Follow
ghostofpeter
Though I have been in the spirit world for more than 6 years, I still purr in my family's ears sometimes.663 followers | Follow
